A certification body will interview you and observe your behavior for a day or two. Afterward, if they're satisfied, they give you a "certified germophobe" card. You can use this to prove to your friends, family, and coworkers that your strange-sounding or drastic hygiene advice is valid, in situations like the current one.

N/A [2020-03-14]
-- notexactly, Mar 23 2020

Could some candidates be fast-tracked ? "Piloted a Lancaster, dropped six tons of high explosive on Hamburg" should tick all the boxes in one go...
-- 8th of 7, Mar 23 2020


Allegedly the German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They, it is alleged, not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: “Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway.” Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.” The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop. Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?” Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.” Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?” Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark,… and I didn’t land.”
-- simp, Apr 08 2020


Overheard at an early EFA planning meeting in the UK:

As delegates stand around drinking tea and coffee before going into the meeting room, the Germans arrive. Their English host greets them, and as a courtesy, enquires "Did you have a good flight over ?" "Ach ja, it vas very even und pleasant." replied one of the guests, at which point a loud Australian voice interjected, "Sure is a lot smoother without the flak, eh, mate ?"
-- 8th of 7, Apr 08 2020



random, halfbakery