I was driving happily along in the far left lane of the freeway in my Fugu-Mobile, secure in the knowlege that even at 75 mph I was getting better than 30 miles to the gallon. So happily, in fact, that I almost missed my exit! I realized I would have to cross 5 lanes of heavy traffic very soon, or I would be stuck on the freeway until the next exit. Good thing I was driving a Fugu-Mobile!
I maneuvered so a large truck would shield me from the other drivers' vision, and pressed the "PUFF" button on the shift knob. Immediately an air deflector deployed from the car's hood - absolutely necessary for what would now happen, at 75 mph! Then, bags under the car's body panels inflated - pushing those panels out away from the car. The panels, folded double or more when stowed, now extended and locked edge to edge - covering the much larger surface area seamlessly. Meanwhile, springs in the car's undercarraige unfolded to nearly double the car's height. My headlights brightened fourfold. Now, I was the biggest baddest car on the road!
Escalades, Navigators, Hummers and Excursions all bowed aside as I merged smoothly across all 5 lanes and made my exit. I could almost smell their fear! Then, safely on the exit ramp, I pressed the PUFF button once more and the Fugu-Mobile returned to its normal compact shape.
The driver of the last SUV watched the reverse transformation in awe. "Fugu!!!", he swore at me - but I was already on my way.-- strange606, Jul 05 2006 What's a fugu? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pufferfish [strange606, Jul 05 2006] fugu fish http://www.worldoce...com/pix/c_spa07.jpg [normzone, Jul 05 2006] Please tell me you weren't talking on your cellphone when you did this.-- normzone, Jul 05 2006 he was also changing the station on his radio and yelling at the passengers in the back seat.-- tcarson, Jul 05 2006 Nonsense, nonsense! How could I do all that and eat my lo mein (with chopsticks of course) at the same time?-- strange606, Jul 06 2006 ..\.I./.. .--.+.--. ../.I.\..-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jul 06 2006 Nice! [+] Got to say though, I don't find SUVs or trucks intimidating because most of the time the person driving them is relying on the vehicle to convey authority. I'd have no qualms (bar the obvious road safety concerns) about cutting up a middle aged fat guy in a Range Rover or soccer mommy in a Landcruiser but I'd think twice about the same trick on the four workmen in the Transit van, or the five teen thugs in the badly pimped hatchback.-- DocBrown, Jul 06 2006 //I'd think twice about the same trick on the four workmen in the Transit van, or the five teen thugs in the badly pimped hatchback//
I take great pleasure when on my motorcycle when these boy racers try to race or cut me up. They don't realise: motorcycle=fast, dodgy hatchback, no matter how many styling lights, exhaust sleeves and blacked out windows it has=not. They look most upset when you open the throttle and dissapear into the night. ;-)
Usually I don't engage in this sort of behaviour, but when they are trying to act all cool its hard not to want to show them up.-- webfishrune, Jul 06 2006 For all you know, [DocBrown], the middle-aged fat guy in the Range Rover can be an ex drug dealer trying very hard to reform himself if only these stupid idiots stopped cutting HIM OFF, DAMMIT, I'M GONNA SHOW YOU YOU MOTHERF...We are sorry, we are experiencing some technical difficulties. Normal transmission will resume shortly. Have a nice day.-- methinksnot, Jul 06 2006 This would work, unless one of those SUVs is taking up all 3 lanes like they usually do.-- Chickenbreadthe1st, Jul 07 2006 Ha! Don't think so [methinksnot] only active drug dealers drive Range Rovers. An important check to make before cutting one up - are the windows tinted? Do the only visible occupants all have goatees and copious amounts of gold jewellery?If so, proceed with caution.-- DocBrown, Jul 07 2006 random, halfbakery