Here at the FryCo laboratories R&D department we've been experimenting with Chimeras.

OK, so trying for centaurs right off the hop was a bad idea... and probably unethical but we had to try right?

Aaaanyway, one of our little create-ures had unexpected attributes accidentally discovered when our pizza delivery guy leaned a little too far over the tank, housing our latest Charasaforme/ Cheyletiella /Garra rufa hybrid, and fell head first into it.
You should have seen the scramble.
Fish flopping all over the lab, the pizza guy threatening to sue, but it was all okay. The pizzas landed crust side down still in their boxes on a nearby counter.

It probably helped that the entire crew was laughing hysterically at the fact that the poor pizza guy surfaced sans eyebrows and with huge patches of scalp and beard hair missing. (we felt it inappropriate to inquire about body hair loss at the time... or how many of our little subjects were smuggled out of the lab that day)

Yes that's right!
We crossed a nibbling toothless-carp, used for exfoliating dead skin cells from peoples' feet, with a walking dander-mite, 'and' a piranah...

Why?...

... well, just because, and wouldn't you know it, the little beggars just can't seem to get their fill of the human hair and nails extending from the skin leaving follicles and nail-beds intact.
So after we'd given Phil, (the delivery guy), an absolutely indecent tip and a promise to ask for a different deliverer next time, our receptionist Becky tied up her hair, stripped down to unmentionables, and went for a little dip.

Well no less than thirty seconds later she emerged completely bare of all hair up to her bikini line and complaining about how much she'd been growing her nails out for months and something about compensation for manicure fees.
She later confirmed a complete loss of 'all' of her body hair on her next dip in the tank but we were not witness to the actual event, (mores the pity, I'm not the only guy on staff who's head turns when Becky walks by), so we had to hire less shy subjects for further testing before providing this service to the public at large.

But after greasing a few FDA palms, and two court cases later, FryCo is pleased to announce the first nibble-fish hair removal system!

Simply remove your garments and sink into one of our private and relaxing room temperature pools for less than a minute if you wish, or even longer if you prefer, (the fish will only ingest keratin so there is absolutely danger of unwanted exfoliation or fear of them finding their way into areas best left unexplored)

Disinfected snorkels are provided for complete removal of scalp and beard hair as well

No raiser-burn.
No painful waxing.
No embarrassing body issues.

Just happy well fed little Chimeras, and a baby smooth you.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 26 2018

'Feather-eating bugs' dull birds http://news.bbc.co....8178000/8178785.stm
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 27 2018]

(suspects 2fries has been on the wine gums)

There are bugs that eat keratin, getting them to eat only the specific hair areas could be the problem. Link
-- not_morrison_rm, Nov 27 2018



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