Mouth cleaning fish that live in an aquarium by your bed. Instead of brushing, scoop a fish into a cup, empty into mouth. Lie back for a few minutes, perhaps while reading. Spit into tank, and begin/end your day.
Inspired by an IMAX movie about the coral reefs I watched yesterday, where a diver let some shrimp play around in her mouth. This was just after the scene of symbiotic fish that clean other fish's mouths.-- Worldgineer, Aug 16 2004 Preening shrimp http://www.halfbake...a/Preening_20Shrimp [angel, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004] You get a croissant as soon as genetic research allows to breed new types of fish.-- Cats Whiskers, Aug 16 2004 Do you have any particular breed of fish in mind? Perhaps one that tastes minty fresh, as opposed to . . . like the feces it has been swimming in since last night?-- contracts, Aug 16 2004 [cats] There are mouth cleaning fish ready-made in nature. Not sure what they eat though or if they could survive on popcorn kernels stuck in teeth.
[cont] Yeah, I'm a bit concerned about cleanliness issues and fish taste as well. You'd need a good tank filter, and perhaps some sort of mint flavored water that won't hurt the fish.-- Worldgineer, Aug 16 2004 Would it work on good ol' Homo Sapiens Sapiens though? Cleaing fish are evolved to clean marine things, not human dental things.
But, barring that objection - would it work as a denture cleaner as well?-- Cats Whiskers, Aug 16 2004 //Would it work// Don't know, worth testing at least.
//denture cleaner// Ha! Perfect application.-- Worldgineer, Aug 16 2004 Denture cleaner is a good first test. Then we can move on to testing in, say, my mouth. I don't mind brushing, but I think this might impress the chicks.-- shapu, Aug 16 2004 Something about fish swimming in my mouth unnerves me. I could see a child having his/her favorite pet fish accidently swallowed and coming to terms with his/her body digesting it. Childhood scars....-- destructionism, Aug 16 2004 But [destructionism] if the fish were cheap and edible, you would want to swallow them! Mmm, sushi - brush your teeth and have breakfast at the same time.-- eulachon, Aug 16 2004 sorry, world... this is awfuk!-- po, Aug 16 2004 I'd prefer one of those birds. You know the ones--they live in the mouths of hippos. (Not our hippo, of course.)-- ldischler, Aug 16 2004 Yes, I like birds too. Though they'd have to be small birds. (resists temptation to propose flying insects)-- Worldgineer, Aug 16 2004 Lower life forms want to die, and provoke their deaths by marking territory with urine in anticipation of being found and killed -- killed and eaten -- this idea sounds like a dream job for organisms whose next highest aspiration is to be sushi.-- dpsyplc, Aug 16 2004 So long as the fish promise not to wiggle, and they have to carry a tiny fish-sized suitcase full of wasabi and ginger.-- destructionism, Aug 17 2004 Mmmmmm, sushi. But sorry, I can't think about putting something with its eyeballs still attached to it into my mouth without retching.-- Machiavelli, Aug 17 2004 Ditto. Cats, though, have those really coarse and rough tongues. They seem suited to sit idly by and wait to be made useful.-- dpsyplc, Aug 17 2004 [Po] - Awfuk? Its hard to say if this was intentional, given that l & k are adjacent on most keyboards. It sounds more effective though.
But I agree, this idea is awful (or awfuk). The simbiotic relationship implies that there is something in it for both parties. I dont think the poor fish would enjoy swimming around in your mouth. <goes into rant about how humans assume animals exist to serve them>-- energy guy, Aug 17 2004 [guy] Well, if you don't end up eating the fish, then they get to keep the crud off your teeth. The fish in question quite literally do exist to serve other animals (usually larger fish though)-- eulachon, Aug 17 2004 Half-baked (linky).-- angel, Aug 17 2004 random, halfbakery