A new strain of Bird Flu has been confirmed, that has been transmitted from fish, and has naturally been named as Fish Flu.
Unlike Bird Flu, it has one side effect that actually makes it a more enabling condition: the growing of a set of gills that supplement normal lung activity. These are simple slots that occur in the latter stages of the illness, and are located between two sets of ribs. Flaps of additional skin protect and enable the passage of water into the now partitioned lungs.
This means that those who have Fish Flu make excellent swimmers, with an unfair advantage, to the extent that a new Olympic event of underwater swimming is now under consideration, exclusively reserved for these new fishy competitors.
However, there is a downside in all of this. In time it is speculated the partitioned lungs will be totally supplanted by the water breathing gills, and the unfortunate victims will be forced to endure the rest of their lives in large (suitable furnished) goldfish bowls.
[marked-for-expiry]-- xenzag, Apr 01 2013 I would give you a bun but they go horrible when they are soggy, so have a fishbone instead.-- pocmloc, Apr 01 2013 Ha - it was only an April fool..... halfbakery used to be such a fun place....-- xenzag, Apr 01 2013 Hmm, yes, my reply was meant to be in the same spirit but now it is looking a bit flat isn't it?-- pocmloc, Apr 01 2013 ...yea, right. You say that now, of course.-- xenzag, Apr 01 2013 Try Brass Eye on "cake". "David Amess, the Conservative Member of Parliament for Basildon, was fooled into filming an elaborate video warning against the dangers of a fictional Eastern European drug called Cake and asked a question about it in Parliament."-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 02 2013 Cake, or New Cake?-- RayfordSteele, Apr 02 2013 Is this idea meant as tongue in gill?-- pashute, Apr 03 2013 I do remember trying to punt "mad tomato disease" back in the 1980's which would be tricky to spot, due to lack of visible external neurological symptoms.-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 04 2013 random, halfbakery