Take a cat, replace its heart with a propane cylinder and allow the propane to travel through its arteries. Puncture the posterior spinal artery and install a couple of gas mantles. Put a long handle in between the mouth and the anus. The cat can then be hung up as a lantern, perhaps with some glass covers, used for cooking and as a heater. There should be a hatch in the chest to allow the replacement of the cylinder, or possibly a small valve to enable gas to be replenished when it runs out.
If the cat falls off the ceiling attachment, it will of course land on its feet as an extra safety feature.-- nineteenthly, Jan 29 2012 101 Uses for a Dead Cat http://en.wikipedia...Uses_for_a_Dead_CatHow did he miss this one? [spidermother, Jan 29 2012] This can be a living or dead cat depending on how you prefer to imagine it.-- nineteenthly, Jan 29 2012 Brilliant! Practical! Re-usable! Another step in the evolutionary chain - is it Cat, or is it Borg? No matter! Municipalities with an overabundance of feral cats will surely seize upon this as a way to light their city streets. How can I not bun? [+]-- Grogster, Jan 29 2012 //How can I not bun?//
It's easy. Allow me to demonstrate.-- mouseposture, Jan 29 2012 This is obvious Borg-baiting. Try to be little more subtle; you'll find the results more enjoyable when they finally spring the trap.-- Alterother, Jan 29 2012 <SNAP>
Damn.
Bun anyway. [+]-- 8th of 7, Jan 29 2012 Mew, mew, meowwwwwwwwwww!!!!-- blissmiss, Jan 30 2012 There's a rather dark pre-visioning of something rather similar to this (involving a plumber) from one of Chris Morris' "Jam" episodes... I'd post a link, but it might be more appropriate to allow people to seek this particular thing out for themselves...that way only the most persistent will self-select.-- zen_tom, Feb 01 2012 Oooh, we found it !
Oops ... does that mean we have "self-selected ?-- 8th of 7, Feb 01 2012 Yes, it does - and that means that if the collective gets bad dreams as a result, you can't blame me!-- zen_tom, Feb 01 2012 Just plain, boiled haddock ? No.
Smoked haddock, now ...-- 8th of 7, Feb 01 2012 random, halfbakery