Body modification and piercing seems to be the done thing these days, so it only makes sense to do it better than anyone else.

Here at UBCo, we've negotiated the rights to fabricate fabulous Fabergé Legs, similar to the famous, fabulous Fabergé eggs but designed to replace part or all of one of your lower limbs with a jewel-encrusted (or not), gorgeously handcrafted travelling compartment in which one might keep valuables, documents or priceless mementoes of your travels and travails.

Hidden inside your clothing, it keeps your valuables from public view. If you choose the more discreet, carbon fibre version you look to the casual observer, like any other amputee who has managed to get a decent quality prosthesis fitted, to enable personal mobility.

Of course, this process may involve having to sacrifice part of an already serviceable limb. Sorry.

Order now and we'll throw in our 18K personalised Hip Flask.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 12 2012

Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Leg Bee-Releasing Jam-Filled Banjo Leg
[zen_tom, Apr 16 2012]

Welcome back, [UnaBubba]!
-- csea, Apr 12 2012


<insert obvious 'hollow leg' joke here>
-- RayfordSteele, Apr 12 2012


Somewhere to store your jammy luck.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 12 2012


Seem to recollect someone with a false leg with water and tropical fish in it, in "Tiger Tiger", the book.
-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 15 2012


I know a double amputee who flaunts her prosthetic legs - last year's paint job was black with purple metalflake star scenes; I haven't yet seen what she's chosen for this year. She wears shorts; enjoys unsettling people.
-- lurch, Apr 15 2012


A friend who has lost a leg was learning to ski in Val d'Isère, and not doing so well at it. Later that evening he came down to the bar and his Canadian ski instructor was regaling everyone with a ribald account of how clumsy he was and how he'd fallen many times doing his lesson.

Helmut was wearing shorts and a lightweight prosthetic leg. Apparently the laughter dried up very quickly, everyone staring pointedly at the now scarlet instructor. Helmut bought the guy a drink.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 15 2012


//A friend who has lost a leg was learning to ski in Val d'Isère,// Aha, one didn't cause the other, my poor comprehension skills.

I was going to do the Cook and Moore wannabe Tarzan amputee joke, but I have something against it.
-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 16 2012


Needs more Jam. And Bees.
-- zen_tom, Apr 16 2012


True, but I can't stand banjoes.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 17 2012


Try leaning them in a corner.
-- spidermother, Apr 18 2012


Q. What have a Banjo Solo and premature ejaculation got in common?

A. You know when both of them are coming and there's not a damned thing you can do about it.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 18 2012


You can squeeze hard just behind the head. That stops the strings from vibrating.
-- spidermother, Apr 18 2012


I guess I should have seen that coming.
-- UnaBubba, Apr 18 2012


I just reread this one. Kinda dark.
-- UnaBubba, Feb 12 2020


I believe that was your "film noir" period if memory serves.
-- blissmiss, Feb 12 2020


//I just reread this one. Kinda dark.//

Really ? I went from "Faberge leg" to "Faberge codpiece" in pretty well nothing flat, then to Steampunk (Faberge) codpiece, at which point things fell apart, rather fast.

On a mostly unrelated note, I'm wondering if there's an HB-rated psychologist.
-- FlyingToaster, Feb 12 2020



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