At first glance, it was a seemingly innocuous flock of seagulls, if seagulls are ever actually innocuous.

However, as they got closer I realised these were no ordinary seagulls. They were enormous... the sort of seagulls you might see if you licked one too many stamps in the late 1970s.

As I watched in horror, one of them scooted along the beach, vacuuming up towels, car keys, drink bottles, pigeons, sunglasses, a small, yappy dog and several bikini components that were improperly fastened to their owners. People were screaming they had lost cash, jewelry and passports in the haul.

They left as quickly as they arrived.

Rumour has it they are controlled by an former UK Defence Ministry consultant; a monocled evil overlord with a penchant for fiendish devices, including a large, submersible watercraft that cruises around, just outside the territorial limit, launching a flock of seagull-shaped hovercraft at resort beaches around the world.
-- UnaBubba, May 15 2012

//vacuuming up towels, car keys, drink bottles, pigeons, sunglasses, a small, yappy dog and several bikini components//

Also, 1/2 a tonne of sand, seaweed, assorted crustaceans, a dead jellyfish, a broken pair of thongs (in the Australian sense), 3 half full cans of beer, a cricket ball that has been chewed beyond recognition, a soggy hot dog, half a wicket and a Kensington Cheese Wire Thong Deckchair Lock.

[+] for cleaning up the beaches, [-] for accelerating erosion, and [+] for a monocle.
-- erenjay, May 15 2012


sp. hovercraft -> hoovercraft
-- lurch, May 15 2012


what does sp. stand for?
-- erenjay, May 15 2012


spelling.

And the invention is...
-- RayfordSteele, May 15 2012


>what does sp. stand for

I thought it was South Park, and then you have to say everything in Mr Garrison's voice?
-- not_morrison_rm, May 15 2012


//And the invention is...//

Giant seagulls designed to remove annoying yappy dogs from beaches
-- erenjay, May 15 2012


Sorry, missed the other posting thread as to origins.
-- RayfordSteele, May 15 2012


// vacuuming up ... several bikini components that were improperly fastened to their owners //

I see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
-- Alterother, May 15 2012


Oh, you would if Roland had been wearing them, [Alter].
-- UnaBubba, May 15 2012


He's getting too close. We're going to have to do something about him.

Maybe we could arrange to let Australia win the Ashes back ...
-- 8th of 7, May 15 2012


Shit... I spent so long arranging for your lot to win them, so you wouldn't all commit national hara-kiri.
-- UnaBubba, May 15 2012



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