Traffic cones are everywhere, so why not add to their static functionality? There are happy, smiley traffic cones, and sad crying, hated, abused traffic cones, but they are all silent.
Emotionally Sensitive Traffic Cones provides the humble traffic cone with a simple voice to help overcome its often derided status.
When lined up along a stretch of road, the cones emit a gentle vocal style hum, with each cone contributing a slightly different note to create a collective modulating harmony. Stationary cars waiting in traffic can wind down their windows to enjoy the harmonies of the singing cones.
In total contrast, if any cone is abused, or moved out of place, it starts crying like a baby. All of this behaviour is controlled by a remote central AI unit with which the cones, that really behave like a swarm, are in constant communication.
This is all possible because inside each cone is a simple speaker, power supply, basic processor, GPS and GSM type communicator. Everything is contained in a tough weatherproof container. This means the cones can be easily found if moved, or used to deliver other sounds/messages on demand, as well as reacting to their immediate environments.
Cones are collectively capable of using their noise/voice generating capacity for many other purposes beyond the emission of traffic calming celestial harmonies - cheering in celebration; delivering warnings and other public information; making spooky noises for halloween.......-- xenzag, Nov 09 2017 Roaming Bins http://news.bbc.co....geshire/4077680.stmA practical demonstration of the only reliable strategy for winning the UK National Lottery. [Wrongfellow, Nov 09 2017] Flocking Road Cones Flocking Road ConesCheck out the awesome illustrations. [zen_tom, Nov 13 2017] Proudly brought to a hyperspace bypass near you courtesy of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.-- TomP, Nov 09 2017 If you brought four of them together, could you get them to do Barbershop?-- RayfordSteele, Nov 09 2017 Yes, of course..... they might even decide to do it all by themselves if they determined that they were being positioned outside of an actual barbershop during some small scale paving work.-- xenzag, Nov 09 2017 What sort of noise would they make as they pass under the wheels of a Range Rover?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2017 Exploding road cones ... we'd bun that ...-- 8th of 7, Nov 09 2017 And in late breaking news... 18 blind orphans are now known to have died when the bus taking them on their once-yearly outing accidentally reversed over what police are describing as a "weaponised road cone".
Meanwhile, authorities are also questioning why it was necessary to out blind orphans.
Incidentally, I have heard, first-hand, the sound of someone being reversed over by an HGV (manufacturer unknown). It's basically a glissando that goes upward through about five octaves and then stops very abruptly. Not nice.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2017 "Product will cause serious injury or death if used correctly" ...-- 8th of 7, Nov 09 2017 Ooops! iPad finger slip deleted my own annotation.-- xenzag, Nov 10 2017 The cone you runover probably shouldn't be the noisy one. It should be the one five or ten ahead, crying for it's comrade, to catch the car driving away from the scene.-- wjt, Nov 11 2017 very cool idea! [+] you could gamify stress-inducing roadworks by the cones keeping track of your car, they make happy 'coin' sounds and when you've passed 10 cones, 25 cones, 50 etc. you level up, maybe the final cone prints a certificate of 'patient driver award' and a voucher for nearby drive-thru :D-- Treejuice, Nov 11 2017 random, halfbakery