Do you have a fifteen minute break and you're going to get hangry and screw up the rest of an important day unless you get something to eat? Did you just realize that two hours ago you left a note on the fridge for your latchkey kid that food is in the fridge but you already ate it? Are you one slice short of setting the pizza-eating world record and you're out of pizza with six minutes on the clock?This service will set up within five minutes of your current location* **and have the nearest available thing to hot, fresh pizza available to deliver within that time frame. Just push the red button on the device they give you. The highly jam-resistant device connects to a nearby satellite to send the "go" signal.*inclusion of transportation mechanisms like boats, airplanes, and cars costs extra**prison deliveries cost extra, and we don't guarantee you'll have time to consume the pizza.The 1 minute or less option may require permission to occupy space in your back yard.-- Voice, Dec 14 2024 A supporting idea ... SDI_3a_20Sodapop_20Defense_20Initiative [normzone, Dec 15 2024] Domino's Emergency Pizza https://pizza.dominos.ca/lp/ep/ [tatterdemalion, Dec 17 2024] Hello, the name is Scott. I'm not sure exactly where I am, I left the south pole about 6 hours ago. I hear you guarantee 5 minute delivery?-- pocmloc, Dec 14 2024 So smearing the red button with jam has no effect on it?-- normzone, Dec 14 2024 That's right, no type of flavor of jam can penetrate the button.-- Voice, Dec 14 2024 Well, now that you've made THAT clear, have an upvote and a supporting gratuitous link.-- normzone, Dec 15 2024 Possible solution: the "device they give you" (with the red button) is a fully self-contained, automated pizza-making & cooking contraption.-- neutrinos_shadow, Dec 15 2024 Sounds like the "Howie Nowie." With delivery...-- RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2024 I hereby declare that all such pizza launch facilities should be leaning towers.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Dec 16 2024 [2 fries shy of a happy meal]; I second that!-- neutrinos_shadow, Dec 16 2024 When I was a kid in El Cajon there was an actual "Leaning Tower of Pizza" building.-- normzone, Dec 16 2024 Intercontinental Ballistic Pizza Delivery-- afinehowdoyoudo, Dec 17 2024 random, halfbakery