Brake-happy drivers will never get a moments peace as cost conscious Aunty Maude harangues them about wear and tear and promises to knit them a nice sweater.

Speed freaks will tear around the city accompanied by wild shrieks of delight from barmy cousin Timmy…you know…the one that they locked away for…well, you know.

Approving grunts from Grandpa Chou and a rather dull anecdote about his childhood are the reward for the driver who practises good fuel economy.

In essence, what we are talking about here is a large, on-board, customised database containing scanned images & voice recordings of your relatives, their likes, dislikes and characteristics. A computer linked into the car, like a vehicle management system, records your driving performance and chooses an appropriate relative to comment upon it. Their image is then either displayed on a dashboard-mounted video screen or, preferably in my view, projected onto the windshield in front of the driver where they deliver an appropriately approving or disapproving comment upon your abilities.

Apologies to harebrained for nicking the title!
-- DrBob, Dec 09 2005

<bump> Is this the first idea to be so swiss-cheesed that it's now made completely of holes? </bump>
-- DrBob, Feb 28 2006


I don't think I would want my grandfather going on about his glory days researching chemistry or the molecular makeup of brake fluid.
-- discontinuuity, Mar 01 2006



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