After a surprisingly brief period of R&D, BorgCo are now offering on public sale the Disposable Baby Bottle.

The Bottle is moulded from recycled glass and is dark brown in colour, so as to be nearly opaque.

It is very simple to use :

i) Place the offending baby in the bottle.

ii) Screw on the airtight lid.

iii) Wait until all sound and movement cease.

iv) Drop in trash.

Availble in a convenient range of sizes, for 0-3 months, 3-6 months, 6-12 months, 1 - 35 years (special order).
-- 8th of 7, Mar 03 2015

This one's going to go down really well, I can tell.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 03 2015


Also suitable for cats.
-- neelandan, Mar 03 2015


not funny. sorry.
-- pashute, Mar 04 2015


My girlfriend tells me I shouldn't be laughing at this.
-- 21 Quest, Mar 04 2015


She's right.
-- tatterdemalion, Mar 04 2015


Already been done, they're referred to as condoms, but a certain intelligence level is required for use.

But seriously, you're crossing the line into dead baby jokes - ill advised. Especially the one about a truck full of bowling balls.
-- normzone, Mar 04 2015


Not heard that one, how does it go ?

// She's right //

Ach, she's only a woman, what do they know ... ?
-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2015


Oi! There'll be none of that sexist stereotyping on my watch, [8th] - it's just not right. Besides, you know how touchy the little ladies can be.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2015


The primary reason, I understand, for the failure of the American Anarchism of the early 20th Century is that anarchists were all too easily identified by the large, black, fizz-fused, spherical bombs (some indeed with white paint BOMB daubed on them) that they habitually carried.
-- calum, Mar 05 2015


made for pun in title [-]
-- Voice, Mar 05 2015


Not feeling particularly human this week, eh, [8th]?
-- lurch, Mar 05 2015


Where should I start...
-- blissmiss, Mar 05 2015


// Not feeling particularly human //

Feeling human is, thankfully, a sensation we are spared.

Rather than Sartre's declaration that "Hell is other people" , we aver that "Hell is other people's small children".
-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2015


Need I remind everyone that 8th of 7 was also once a small child?
-- 21 Quest, Mar 05 2015


maybe that's his point...
<dun dun dun>

I would intercede on behalf of this idea and try to quell the crowd, but I have a hunch that the result would be a Disposable Pacifier posting.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Mar 05 2015


//other people's small children//, when noisome, are a sign of (and, if handled correctly, a treatment for) defective parents.

Just give the brat an espresso and a puppy, and said parents are likely to make significant efforts to assure you aren't bothered by that child again.
-- lurch, Mar 06 2015



random, halfbakery