You are in the lavatory. You barely made it and now you're number two-ing with unrestrained abandon, courtesy flushing of course so as not to totally offend the people who's house you are a guest in...but have you checked the paperwork situation?
Empty?!!
Frantically you search the cabinet beside you but find not a single sheet.

A few eternities worth of seconds go by in denial before you begin reviewing your options.
Option a: Yell for help, (a little drastic as a first choice), moving on.
Option b: You noticed some folded face cloths in the cabinet but you estimate your chances of successfully flushing one to be somewhere between slim and nil, (what else ya got?)
Option c: Try to ignore that squidgy, soon to be burning, sensation while you find an alternate bathroom. (not really on option is it?)

Then you remember that catchy Dial-a-roll jingle.

If you’re sittin on the loo,
thinkin your chore is almost through.
But the paper has run empty.
and you don't know what to do.
Make the caaall
Dial-a-roll.
You know that within minutes there will be a reassuring tap on the window.
Ground level $7.00 per roll.
Second story $10.50 per roll.
Third story and up...negotiable.

Operators are standing by.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 23 2005

This would seem easier(?) http://gss-store.co...ealtime-SANR4000TBK
[Klaatu, Jul 07 2007]

If I don't want my cry for help to be overheard, can I text message you my order? +
-- robinism, Jan 23 2005


You could expand into tampons. Then pizza.
-- robinism, Jan 23 2005


Heh, bun!
-- skinflaps, Jan 23 2005


"Hello? Dial-a-Bun? There's a Mr. Fries at the Halfbakery in need of a bun."
-- wagster, Jan 23 2005


Finally a Dial-a-Something that would be great! (Poor sots without a cell phone, well they should have known better.)
-- blissmiss, Jan 23 2005


2 plies shy of a hygienic rear.
-- FarmerJohn, Jan 23 2005


I read that as piles first time.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 23 2005


"Darling.. who'se that man outside our window carrying a toilet roll? I'm pretty sure we didn't order a window cleaner who needs to clean his rear on the job."

"Oh.. I forgot to put another roll up."

"And our guest has just gone to use to loo. Damnit. Now everyone's gonna be talking about how we got a Dial-a-roll deliveryperson on our house."

"It's okay, dear... Look, the Joneses have got one too."

"Ah, that's reassuring."
-- Cats Whiskers, Jan 24 2005


I suppose those who suspect a case of no.2 abandon to e on the way cannot reasonably be expected to fold a few pieces of 2-ply up in their wallets...

However, there's always the "Wash it off, and if anyone asks say it was such a scorcher, you decided to try out the shower" option.
-- ye_river_xiv, Jul 06 2007


A job is a job... __Spiderman
-- melanerpes, Jul 07 2007



random, halfbakery