A laser printer has an extra light to attract flies, which are trapped in a receptacle. Half are burnt in poorly-ventilated conditions to produce carbon black and carbon monoxide, half frozen and finely ground finely. Condensation from the refrigerated portion is harvested and electrolysed to produce hydrogen and oxygen. The hydrogen and CO are heated and catalysed together with alumina, zinc oxide and copper to produce methanol, which is then condensed and added to the finely ground insect parts for a couple of weeks to dissolve the cuticular lipids. The solution is then filtered and heated to drive off the methanol, leaving a waxy residue. This is then mixed with the soot to produce toner, which is then used in the conventional way, as with a normal laser printer. Part of the heat for generating this is provided by burning the CO and oxygen together, along with the methanol.

The printer therefore has a self-renewing toner supply, which is however in no way veggie.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 27 2009

Mini-Airship Alarm Clock Mini-Airship_20Alarm_20Clock
Could supply moths ... [Aristotle, Apr 28 2009]

Wikipedia: LED printer https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LED_printer
Mentioned in my anno [notexactly, May 01 2019]

sounds like I need to replace five cartridges and a cube of rotten meat, instead of the single toner one. How much is the call-out technician gong to cost?
-- wjt, Apr 27 2009


"Insectivore printer" [+]
-- FlyingToaster, Apr 27 2009


Thanks, [FT]. Mind if i use it?
[Wjt], no, but there may be issues with the catalyst.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 27 2009


Is there some way the laser printer's laser could be used to shoot down mosquitoes that intrude in its airspace?
-- jutta, Apr 27 2009


Yes, it is extremely twiddly. I did think it might be doable by attracting dust and carbonising it, but that would just make soot, which would rub off the paper. There has to be a way of getting it to stick.
[Jutta], i was thinking of involving the laser somehow , but don't most laser printers really use LEDs rather than fully-fledged lasers? Then again, maybe they should.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 27 2009


ewww, what a disgustingly cool idea... +
-- xandram, Apr 28 2009


Could you feed your printer any random, captured spiders and/or cockroaches too? [+]
-- Aristotle, Apr 28 2009


Yes. In fact, i'm wondering if it should roam about the house when not in use, capturing arthropods with a sticky tongue like a chamæleon.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009


It could have a chameleon robot drone that stalks your house and comes back to deliver it's harvest and recharge. I think I can provide a link to something else that would collect such things ...
-- Aristotle, Apr 28 2009


Oh, please do, that'd be marvellous. Isn't there some kind of battery or something which runs off dead flies?
-- nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009


I would like it even more than I already do if it also could be modified to printed fly paper. These could then be set up in fly infested areas, and achieve a sort if perpetuality cycle.
-- xenzag, Apr 28 2009


That was it, [21Q].
Well, [xenzag], it's not beyond the realms of possibility. Chitin is a polysaccharide, after all. Squashed insects immersed in methanol and then possibly formic acid might do the trick, but since some insects secrete that, i don't know if it'd work. The trick would be to remove lipids and proteins and leave the chitin. The fibres might also be rather short.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009


The files can maybe either die of natural causes or maybe just have amazing sex or something while they're dying, [up_on]. Would that help?
-- nineteenthly, Apr 28 2009


great. ++
-- Zuzu, Apr 28 2009


You all scare me. I guess in a good way though. What the hell are you talking about? A bug eating printer? Yeah right. Oh my. What next I ask...bacon frying fax machine?
-- blissmiss, Apr 28 2009


Is it supposed to be making that buzzing noise?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Apr 29 2009


You have created in me a pointless urge to replace all my folder icons with pictures of flies, so no-one can ever say you haven't influenced the outside world now.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 29 2009


//bacon frying fax machine//
<rubs chin> Hmmmm, you know that's just crazy enough... </rc>
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 29 2009


That should happen too. In fact, Windows should have an entirely entomological shell, with security updates every moth.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 30 2009


Windows has always been full of bugs ...
-- Aristotle, Apr 30 2009


I can't believe i didn't make that joke.
-- nineteenthly, Apr 30 2009


//with security updates every moth.//

[marked-for-tagline]
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 01 2009


Oh, and it shouldn't be called a shell but a cuticular exoskeleton.
-- nineteenthly, May 01 2009


[+]

I guess [FT] did mind?

There are LED printers [link], but, AFAIK, they are only the ones sold as such, and they're not yet common. I don't know if they were available at all ten years ago. Other than using a linear array of LEDs instead of an LD with a scanning mechanism, they work similarly to laser printers.
-- notexactly, May 01 2019



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