There are numerous examples which show that we react poorly to slow degradation of our environment (the "boiling frog" effect). A recent example is that even though public awareness of climate change and hence popular pressure to act are at their highest in recorded history, the 2009 summit in Copenhagen produced arguably insignificant results.
The Environmental Inferno, to be held in Florence, Italy (Dante Alighieri's city of birth), will make the consequences of inaction truly palpable! The venue of the conference will be a sauna of proportions adequate to accommodate an appropriate selection of world leaders, and over a period of two weeks, negotiations will take place.
On the first five days, temperatures will be held at an agreeable 22 degrees Celsius, and all participants will be granted access to proper meals as well as cleansing and sleeping facilities. However, as long as no deal within minimal requirements is signed by all convened parties, no-one may leave the premises.
From day six, a downward spiral kicks in which casts conference participants successively into the nine circles of climate hell! Temperatures rise, meals are disrupted, facilities are unclean, pest-ridden or inundated. Random sections of the venue are flooded periodically, and an overall water level begins its inexorable rise.
By the end of the fortnight, our conference will have either produced a significant global agreement, or simultaneously starved, baked and drowned a selection of inadequate world leaders.-- placid_turmoil, Jan 14 2010 A sovereign remedy for all ills http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zyklon_BVery popular at one time [8th of 7, Jan 14 2010] thin ice... Ice_20Floe_20Vacation [FlyingToaster, Jan 14 2010] Good idea. When the Copenhagen conference was on I did think it was pretty daft holding a conference on global warming in the winter - of course everyone knows that climate and weather are different things, but the psychology of it was all wrong.-- hippo, Jan 14 2010 You don't need climate change as an excuse to do this. Shove them all in, lock the doors and roast them.
We suggest a suitable air freshener. <link>-- 8th of 7, Jan 14 2010 I'll bun this if, in addition to the temperature and water level, for every day they stay in the inferno they are given another 400,000 babies to feed.-- Wrongfellow, Jan 14 2010 // another 400,000 babies to feed //
To feed to what ?-- 8th of 7, Jan 14 2010 I love the sinister way your mind works...and come back here more often, placid. I miss your name and you too.-- blissmiss, Jan 14 2010 Effing Genius!-- I'mGoingtoMarryJackWhite, Jan 14 2010 Must include plagues of hungry flies.-- xenzag, Jan 14 2010 Why thank you blissmiss, I'm very touched :) I rarely seem to find the time that would be expected of a regular halfbaker. But I do very much enjoy the odd half-croissant, now and again! Cheers-- placid_turmoil, Jan 14 2010 Thin ice.It needs some thin ice in there somewhere.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 14 2010 Over the Pit of Ravenously Hungry Polar Bears ? that would be beautifully ironic.-- 8th of 7, Jan 14 2010 Good idea. All that's needed is that the most powerful people in the world agree to inflict physical discomfort on themselves. Not gonna happen. No, wait. All that's needed is that the most powerful people in the world agree to inflict physical discomfort on *each other* Maybe this could work after all.-- mouseposture, Jan 14 2010 Um.. isn't climate change being blamed for the ridiculously cold winter in Europe/UK. Maybe you should be dropping the temperature?-- sneakythumbs, Jan 15 2010 Correct me if I'm wrong here, but weren't the descendant circles progressively *colder*?
I'm all for the bugs and bears and such; the bitter cold would inspire all sorts of creative survival strategies, like maybe even closing the deal.-- absterge, Jan 15 2010 The torture is altogether Florentine in nature. +-- daseva, Jan 15 2010 // Um.. isn't climate change being blamed for the ridiculously cold winter in Europe/UK. //
Yes, but it shouldn't be. Evidence suggests Climate Change actually warms winters more than summers, hence the string of mild winters preceding this year.-- Germanicus, Jan 15 2010 placid and absterge...yay!!!-- blissmiss, Jan 15 2010 // Um.. isn't climate change being blamed for the ridiculously cold winter in Europe/UK. //
Could I modestly direct my fellow halfbakers to my Blatantly Idiotic Prediction for 2010?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 15 2010 //I did think it was pretty daft holding a conference on global warming in the winter//
It would have worked better if they'd held the conference on the same dates, but in Melbourne or Adelaide. In this hemisphere, global warming is pretty believable. I believe (without actually checking) that Melbourne just recorded its highest temperature ever.
I'm no expert, but I thought the current hard winter in Europe and North America was a temporary effect of the northern hemisphere oceans digesting all the ice they've been chewing off the Arctic ice sheets lately. Down under, the Antarctic hasn't melted so much, but that means there's less melt-water being added to the sea to mitigate (in the short term) the overall warming... but I can't prove that.-- pertinax, Jan 16 2010 'cording to something I saw on the tube the other day, polar ice melts and the influx of freshwater stalls the Gulfstream, so no warming effect gets to the UK.-- FlyingToaster, Jan 16 2010 random, halfbakery