Advertise in your local newspaper that one evening a real pig will be deejaying at a nearby club. Before the set, you will first need to organise a few things.

In the club area, set up a little fenced area on the stage with straw, hay and some mud scattered here and there. Take two turntables and put them on a low pedestal so the pig's mouth can touch the records. Find a real pig, something large and docile and place him in the pen. Headphones and some small sunglasses will help to block out light and sound so as not to scare the animal and to make it look kosher.

When the people enter the club, rub some type of food that the pig finds irresistable onto a few records and put them on its little turntables and press the on button - but make sure to turn the sound off.

While DJ Real Pig is licking the records, you are secretly out the back playing some hardcore tracks over the speakers, so it appears he is really deejaying.

This can also be adapted for DJ Real Dog, Kitten, Hamster, Donkey etc depending on what animals you have available.
-- benfrost, Jan 04 2005

(??) The original? http://www.brain-da...uk/pics/anippj1.jpg
[Mr Burns, Jan 05 2005]

(?) hip hop swine no less http://desmoinesreg...archID=731959223273
[benfrost, Jan 13 2005]

oink!

Save some sow-l music for later in the evening...
-- hippo, Jan 04 2005


"DJ Boiled Mouse"
-- calum, Jan 04 2005


Put an elephant up there with the pig.
-- skinflaps, Jan 04 2005


no! elephants are strictly for Jungle Raves!
-- benfrost, Jan 04 2005


a pig cant be kosher
-- redwheel, Jan 04 2005


It can if it's killed right, under a rabbi's supervision. </seinfeld>
-- phundug, Jan 04 2005


I'm still trying to figure out where you get your ideas, [ben]. Fascinating.
-- Machiavelli, Jan 04 2005


I did DJ me, and the turning, groovy peanut butter tingled my tongue. Later, DJ slug got sliced by the needle.
-- FarmerJohn, Jan 04 2005


Pigs do not enjoy loud music and are very sensitive, as are many other animals, which is why I would do it only for one track or so, with the volume at an acceptable level.
-- zeno, Jan 04 2005


I thought the gist of this was that <i>anyone</i> could DJ. But seriously--am I right?
-- Eugene, Jan 04 2005


watch out for crackling noises.
-- neilp, Jan 04 2005


Ben - I bow to your twisted brain! Oink!
-- energy guy, Jan 05 2005


Fresh pork of Bel-air and DJ jazzy jowls.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jan 05 2005


I'd do it at a metal club and play that horrible Green Jelly song about the three little pigs....

Maybe I could teach my 20 month old Nephew to play with the decks instead of an animal?
-- RichieRich, Jan 05 2005


hah! like an idea from a Geico commercial!
-- xandram, Aug 28 2013



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