Business: False Claims
CustomSicknessPills   (+1, -2)  [vote for, against]
Who needs to call in sick when you can show up sick and be asked to leave!

What if when you called in sick you really could be sick?

Better yet, what if you could actually show up to work sick, voimit on your employer, and take the rest of the day off comfortably?

The idea is custom sicknesses, intense sicknesses brought on by pills, that last for an hour or two. just long enough for you to demonstrate that you really shouldnt be at work today =). This would save all the trouble of tenatively calling in, or trying to sell a few dry, contrived sounding coughs and moans to get the day off. For your comfort the effects would have to clear entirly within 2-3 hours so you would be able to enjoy the day without residual effects. this could likely be done cheaply and safely with some sort of chemical that the body would reject, causing you to become intensly ill for a short period of time. Chemicals already exist that induce vomiting, but we want to offer a greater variety of symptoms, like rashes, blood and mucous pouring from the eyes ears and mouth, diarehha, sweating, fever, swelling, intense body oder. Symptoms could be sold as seperate pills and combination pills, for the convienience of customers. This is important and what really makes this sellable, i mean if your pill causes vomiting and somone HATES vomiting, or is concerned for the health of their teeth, they can avoid it, while another person may WANT vomiting for the shock value and vengeful possibilities. The possibilities are endless, and the uses are many, which is why im pushing for Custom Sickness Pills

The market would be huge, think of how many times YOU have called in sick... ...also makes a great gag!
-- Aphyllophorales, Jul 09 2003

I see someone's been reading the new Harry Potter!
-- justadesigner, Jul 09 2003


Many drugs when mixed with even small amounts of alcohol have this effect. The problem with this is the half-life of any real-fake sickness drug and how long it will take you to get over the effects of it. Something that induced psuedomembranous colitis would fit the bill nicely but the mortality rate may erode the repeat customer base.
-- oneoffdave, Jul 10 2003


What [justadesigner] says.
-- bristolz, Jul 10 2003


Makes things a little to easy for bulimics.
-- mattan, Jul 10 2003


or potnoodle.

not telling you what is guaranteed to make me throw up, no, not telling...no not telling .. GAG.
-- po, Jul 10 2003


Take one of these vomiting pills at four-hourly intervals and you'll have abs of steel by the end of the week.

The (il)logical conclusion of the existence of this product is that employers will not let the sick home immediately, requiring that she stay at work until the pills, if taken, will have worn off. Which is a bad thing for the genuinely sick. This also means that the only way to avoid the sack for taking the pills, will be to take the pills over the course of the day, making yourself sick for a prolonged and self-defeating length of time.
-- my face your, Jul 10 2003


Sorry, but somehow having these pills on hand would be just one more convenient excuse for a person to be lazy.
-- mlanza, May 01 2004


Phone call for a Fred and/or George Weasley!
-- Tabbyclaw, Oct 11 2004



random, halfbakery