An office shredder shaped like the Crack of Doom from Lord of the Rings, for when you want things properly destroyed.


(Note that this shredder will only shred documents printed on the Mount Doom™ Laserprinter)
-- hippo, Jun 21 2012

I'm pretty sure it will shred former hobbits, too.
-- RayfordSteele, Jun 21 2012


Aha, now there's an idea...a fully featured "Office System" ™ wherin using special doo-hicky™ embedded paper that automatically couples with all manner of peripherals, Printer, Scanner, Stapler, Hole-Punch, Lever-Arch files, long-term storage boxes and shredders. Of course, the system wont work with any non-propriatary paper, so your customers will be forever forced to buy your overpriced paper!

<sound of hand-dryer starting in distance>
-- zen_tom, Jun 21 2012


"Where's the shredder ?"

"You must journey South fro Rivendell, through the mines of Moria, then through Mirkwood to the River Anduin, across the Dead Marshes, over the pass of Cirith Ungol and down into Gorgoroth, then across the ashy plains of Mordor to Mount Doom."

"Sorry, where ?"

"On the left, next to the photocopier".
-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012


How is it possible to shred a crack?
-- pocmloc, Jun 21 2012


On a skateboard.

Why is the security camera starting to glow?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 21 2012


This isn't some adaptor that fits on the mock-butt toaster is it?
-- not_morrison_rm, Jun 21 2012


You wish.
-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012


Yes.
-- 8th of 7, Jun 21 2012


It will of course be obligatory for office-workers to hesitate at the shredder, clutching their documents and adopting a tortured expression to convey the sense of an inner turmoil as they struggle with their reluctance to consign their precious documents to the shredder.
-- hippo, Jun 22 2012


I'll just have the eagles drop me off.

"If, sirs, you would read the last clause of the fine print below..."

'The signatory and bearer of this document does hereby give up all rights of self-determinantion and owership of person by action of slow corruption, the speed and time which is executable at a time of such choosing by the the corporation...'

'One clause to rule them all...'
-- RayfordSteele, Jun 22 2012


Preciousssss...
-- UnaBubba, Jun 22 2012


"Three-ring binders for the Elven-kings, under the Sky ..."
-- 8th of 7, Jun 22 2012


The start button is deeply recessed, and the sliding cover (which closes upon activation) is very sharp-edged.
-- lurch, Jun 22 2012



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