The Animal Methane AutoFlamer straps to a cow's back and positions an electronic sparker strategically near the source of methane emissions. An electronic methane detector activates the sparker and ignites the gas, reducing it to its basic and harmless elements. There is a solar cell to recharge the system, and a spun-glass sleeve to protect the tail from the flames.

While reducing harmful atmospheric polution, this will also create a new source of income for the dairyman.

Dairymen and cattlemen could charge the public admission to set up a picnic blanket and watch the evening flames or participate in flame games such as:

Flame Bingo: The Flame Bingo game is run by a game host. There is a large, illuminated clock with a face divided into five second, ten second, fifteen second, etc. intervals, depending on the number of available bovine and their "activity frequency".

Players buy bingo cards that have a random times printed in each square. The game host records the time of each flame, and players mark their cards as they see a flame that corresponds to a time on their cards.

Also available for sale: A home version of Flame Bingo, ideal for "male bonding parties".
-- ZomGlo, Feb 08 2004

Bovine flatulence http://mindspring.c...sc/bovineindex.html
Double Autoflamers? The belches (every 40-90 seconds) are worse than the farts. Total 400 liters/day. [FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2004]

This would look lovely at night. The full moon shining above the quiet, dark countryside, with random bursts of flame from the cows, like huge fireflies.
-- hippo, Feb 08 2004


well done, medium and rare!
-- po, Feb 08 2004


Another game could be "Full Pasture Marhmallow Roast". Give all the kiddies a stick and a marshmallow and watch them scamper from bovine to bovine.

"Look at 'em - they sure will sleep well tonight!"
-- 1st2know, Feb 08 2004


Can cows eat beans?
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 08 2004


[2fry]//Can cows eat beans?//
After the last mad cow scare, this sounds like a multi croisant idea itself.
-- 1st2know, Feb 08 2004


<sideline>Would it be possible to breed cows for high methane production to reduce dependency on fossile fuels? Perhaps insert a whale gene so they develop a burp hole between the shoulder blades where the gas is easy to collect without inconvenience to the cow.</sideline>
-- kbecker, Feb 08 2004


Now we know what really happened in Mrs. O'Leary's barn.

Wouldn't there be some concern as to losing the whole herd to an errant emission?
-- phoenix, Feb 08 2004


Obviously none of you have tried this already. That's all I can say.
-- K-trein, Mar 26 2004


I'm surprised some here at the univeristy hasn't come up with this already -- it seems like something the Aggies'd do....
-- andromeda, Apr 17 2004


This could be used in conjunction with the Cow Grand National idea
-- Cunninglinguist, Apr 17 2004



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