We all like milk, there's no finer way to create a smell time-bomb in an enemies car or ruin countless millions of cups of coffee by being off before it should be.

Milking cows however, is tedious. There's a lot of faffing about involved, and lots of getting up really early, if you ask me, the world would be better if there weren't so many farmers complaining about having to get up early.

So, 1. stick a GPS tag on each of your cows. 2. design a milking roomba that visits each of the cows, and gives them a damned good milking... and keeps stats on the cows... you know, for their year-end performance evaluation.

Done.
-- bs0u0155, Nov 19 2012

Fully automatic milking systems exist. They generally take advantage of the fact that cows are mobile, and as a result the milking machine itself is fixed.
-- MechE, Nov 19 2012


yes, but all that tedious moving about cuts into valuable cud-chewing time.
-- bs0u0155, Nov 19 2012


[+] If, rather than a Roomba-y look, you made your robot a warm, furry, realistic (to a cow) simulacrum of a calf that not only milks (or, you might better call it, nurses) but follow and nuzzle and otherwise behave socially like a real calf, I imagine it would make for much happier cows, which, per conventional dairy wisdom, should make for a healthier herd and better milk.
-- CraigD, Nov 19 2012


// there's no finer way to create a smell time-bomb in an enemies (sic) car //

Yes there is. It's called putriscine.
-- Alterother, Nov 19 2012


putriscine (sic) is not really a 'time bomb' more 'constant smell explosion'
-- bs0u0155, Nov 19 2012


Could come in different sizes for different mammals [+]
-- pocmloc, Nov 19 2012


^ Yes ! that's what the world needs: autonomous milking robots that wander through the wild until they're full and trundle back to their owner.
-- FlyingToaster, Nov 19 2012


Wild food is better than farmed!
-- pocmloc, Nov 19 2012


I like moose milk on my cereal, but beaver milk is better in my tea. Finally, a solution!
-- Alterother, Nov 20 2012


Yes, but when they released revision 54 of the beaver milking firmware there was an engineering error and the moose firmware update was issued under that number. Scared the hell out of the beaver in these parts.

We were speculating about a roomba clone that could bring you a beer the other day...
-- normzone, Nov 20 2012


Wouldn't one that could bring you a beer right now be more practical?
-- Alterother, Nov 20 2012


a roomba with a built-in beer fridge and a 'cometopapa' remote... totally doable
-- bs0u0155, Nov 20 2012


Udderly ridiculous idea. (+)
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 20 2012


//you made your robot a warm, furry, realistic (to a cow) simulacrum of a calf that not only milks//

You could hollow-out a real calf.
-- bs0u0155, Nov 26 2012


/autonomous milking robots that wander through the wild until they're full and trundle back to their owner/

What is this stuff you're full of, little Milker? Doesn't look like milk to me...
-- bungston, Nov 27 2012



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