At the Commando Cafe, your booth is a sandbag-fortified bunker. You strap on your helmet and crouch-run along the trenches as you approach it, to avoid the simulated machine gun and mortar fire whizzing by just a few feet above you. (To get to the bar requires some military crawling under barbed wire, but the drinks are very cheap.)

At the Commando Cafe, your camouflaged server drops down into your bunker on a zip line, whether they're bringing you your menu, your meal, some hot java, or just some extra ammo. (If you're by the wall, they rappel.)

At the Commando Cafe, you can, if you wish, opt to retrieve your order yourself. (Sign this waiver first, please.) This involves a challenging obstacle course, and is guaranteed to use up lots of calories and ensure that you'll have a healthy appetite when - or if, I should say - you make it back to your table.

At the Commando Cafe, it's difficult sometimes to have a conversation, what with the explosions and screams and all, and the orderlies running by with stretchers, and the sergeants stopping by occasionally to make sure your meal is satisfactory, give you updates on the state of battle, and order you to "eat that broccoli, soldier!!"

The Commando Cafe. It prepares you for the world outside.
-- smendler, Jan 06 2017

Not an underwear-optional café then?
-- hippo, Jan 06 2017


It might ALSO be underwear optional. For those idiotic enough to risk doing that in that environment....
-- Vernon, Jan 06 2017


I havé détérminéd éxpériméntally that many of thé cafés around héré aré thé typé hippo déscribés.

Also less overhead than what smendler describes.
-- bungston, Jan 06 2017


coffee drinkers only; no teabaggers allowed on the premises.
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 06 2017



random, halfbakery