Home: Laundry: Washing
Combination Washing Machine and Incinerator   (+6)  [vote for, against]
Whiter Whites! Reduced Waste! Clean Scrap Metal!

A regular washing machine is fitted with a heavy duty vault door and a vent to outside. For washing clothes, it works as it always did. However...

<dramatic pause for effect>

When you have a sack full of garbage all you have to do is stuff it into the washing machine, secure the vault door, and turn the dial to "Incinerator Cycle." As the water begins to fill in the tub, a measured amount of calcium phosphide is shot into what is now garbage stew. All washing machine contents are immediately toasted in a fiery inferno, and a hellish fireball shoots out the vent. The washing machine carries on as if it were taking a stroll through the park, into the rinse and spin cycle. When it stops, simply pull out the sparkling clean scrap metallic bits for recycling.

Voila! The washing machine is now perfectly clean and ready to wash your delicate undergarments.

CAUTION: Do not hit the "Incinerator Cycle" for delicate undergarments.
-- Grogster, Jun 24 2011

The Secret Ingredient http://en.wikipedia...i/Calcium_phosphide
[Grogster, Jun 24 2011]

While I must applaud the sentiment of adding a violent and potentially lethal function to white goods, I suspect some fine tuning may be required.

The conventional washing machine drum is made from thin stainless steel and housed in a plastic closure, sealed with a thin, convoluted rubber gland.

In the presence of the combustion created by adding water to Ca3P2, all the above parts would be ejected as part of the "hellish fireball".

In the absence of those parts, the "hellish fireball" would escape in all directions and probably spoil the dinner.

Also note that small children like to play in washing machines. (+)
-- Twizz, Jun 24 2011


// small children like to play in washing machines //

Well done. [Grogs], a product that sells itself. [+]

"Hellish fireball" MUHWHAHAHAHA!

We advise designing in a hydraulic recuperator to manage the recoil.

Will there be a special" cat" setting, or is it safe to assume that you have realised that" cat" and" garbage" are synonymous ?

PS MUHWHAHAHAHA!
-- 8th of 7, Jun 24 2011


Were there a crystalizedceramical setting...
-- Sir_Misspeller, Jun 24 2011


Mom to Innocent-Looking Child: "...Junior, have you seen Fluffy?..."
-- Grogster, Jun 24 2011


Bun for creating hellish fireballs.
-- Voice, Jun 24 2011



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