This alarm clock features a ground coffee receptacle, some coffee beans, and a scale. Whether by turning a crank or slamming down a hammer the user is required to grind a certain amount of coffee before the alarm will shut up. Hopefully the exercise will wake the user and result in the required amount of freshly ground beans.-- Voice, Feb 20 2022 Just yesterday a friend of mine asked of a market stall holder, who was selling second hand tools, if they had a caulking mallet. The stall holder replied "I'll have to phone 'himself' and ask." I could clearly hear her talking on the phone and saying "there's someone at the stall looking for a coffin mallet"-- xenzag, Feb 20 2022 Excellent. Heads off morning sex before the pass.-- 4and20, Feb 20 2022 Ha [+]-- 21 Quest, Feb 20 2022 random, halfbakery