No more frustrating moments in the store fitting room struggling into too-small bikinis or thongs. No more coming home with a horrible, gag-green, see-through blouse that the sales lady assured you "Looks perfect on you." By bringing along the clothes test dummy, one can hygienically try on dainty undies and get an impartial 360-degree view of a latest fashion adorning or insulting your figure.

Made out of lightweight, flexible, plastic foam, the dummy can easily be seated beside you in a car or bus, and its wheeled feet make trundling between shops, with an arm around the waist, a breeze. It is also the ideal companion for a friend to bring along when looking for a fitting birthday present. Just send in nude photos of yourself, from three angles holding a ruler (discretion guaranteed), and the return mail will include your very own, life-size repliclone, with every bump and fold faithfully reproduced.
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 06 2002

//No more frustrating moments in the store fitting room struggling into too-small bikinis or thongs//

Funny, I wouldn't have picked you for a cross-dresser.
-- Helium, Sep 06 2002


I think this is actually just his scam for getting people to send him nude photos in the post.
-- -alx, Sep 06 2002


Thanks guys, your dummies are in the mail.
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 06 2002


But I've not sent you my naked pics yet...
-- -alx, Sep 06 2002


Too late.
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 06 2002


all you need is an old style dressmaker's mannequin. They have screw that you can extend the breadth of shoulders, waist size, height etc, and you could easily add jointed leg parts and arms of your correct length. You might look a bit weird carrying one around with you when you were shopping for your wife's Christmas present. But then again, the first person to wear any sort of clothes probably looked weird to the rest of his mates. Go on, set a trend.
-- lewisgirl, Sep 06 2002


Like [lewisgirl] suggested, an old dressmaker's mannequin, but redesign it so it is user-friendly enough to set the correct sizes without assistance, and put it in store dressing rooms.

Purchasing clothes for someone else would be the real purpose for an adjustable dummy. Just get their sizes, and you can somewhat accurately purchase garments for your spouse.

It could also be computer controlled, the gift-ee would come to the department store, enter their sizes (anonymously, of course) into a kiosk of some sort and out pops a Mini-CDR or Floppy Disc with the data on it. The gift-giver would then take the disc, place it into the dressing dummy, and then it would set itself automatically.
-- BinaryCookies, Sep 06 2002


hey BinaryCookies, why not have a room that scans you with a laser, takes your measurements, then you choose the style of clothes you like from a moniter. (IE Black pants, baggy, loosefitting, gothic/punk style) the computer makes a virtual one and then it is created for you and mailed to you. hell, all you need to leave your house for is the custom fitting room thingo with the lasers. and clothes cost about 80 bucks now, if this catches on, they could make it cheaper and it would catch on even faster. then for 70 bucks you geta perfect pair of pants. hell, i bet they could make tags with your name on it and stuff too.
-- Wraith, Sep 07 2002


These are all good practical improvements on my crazy idea. Ideally there would be an elf-adjusting dummy in each cubicle.
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 07 2002


Oh Bliss, we know how clever you are.
You mean you don't run your HB operations centre from home?
-- NickTheGreat, Sep 07 2002


People will think you're a smelly, scruffy-haired lady bickering with the librarian who won't let you wheel in your shopping cart with all your worldly goods and cat.
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 08 2002


Just heard a story last night about a pickled, bag lady who wandered through screeching and honking traffic after a hobbling, injured pigeon. People both feared for her life and admired her heroics to save the creature. She caught up with it at the side of the street and promptly wringed its neck and threw it in the gutter.
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 08 2002


is it still there? i'm thinking of starting a collection.
-- skinflaps, Sep 08 2002


//Funny, I wouldn't have picked you for a cross-dresser.//

Cross - you should see him when trying on ladies underwear that doesn't quite fit. Cross isn't the word!
-- PeterSilly, Sep 09 2002


Watch out I don't knock you up the side of your silly head with my brick-ballasted handbag!
-- FarmerJohn, Sep 09 2002



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