This alarm clock is placed upon your bedside table and is designed not only to wake you up but have you scrambling out of the bedroom if you do not get out of your bed.
The loco clock is wired up to your, not so sleepless PC which in-turn is routed to a table top projector,hi fi speaker system and several large rumble packs which are concealed within the bed and the room's bookshelves.
At the desired time of awakening the alarm clock will start the projector's display upon the facing wall.
As you slowly open your tired eyes within the dark room you squint and notice a small dot descending down a railway track set upon a sun risen mountainous landscape projected against the facing wall. As the dot descends down the track it becomes larger with a faint recognition of "tackity tack, tackity tack" through the hi fidelity speakers.
As the dot adherently grows larger and with the "TACKITY TACK" becoming louder.
It now becomes apparent that the front end of a speeding locomotive is hurling itself down the track towards you!
Your 30 seconds have begun to deactivate the next course of events by leaving your bed.
The locomotive is now fully visual upon the wall, now steaming towards you, twisting around the first bend. The sound of the loco is getting louder and louder,the rumble pack kicks in shaking and rumbling the bed with you still in it.
The locomotive is now at the bottom of the projected hill picking up full momentum, the noise is excruciatingly loud, the rumble packs on the book shelves are shaking and tossing books and other objects all over the room.You are now immersed within a total panic of noise and mayhem hoping to avoid the oncoming locomotive which is charging forward.
By leaping from your {{shuddering}} bed you may instantly deactivate the alarm clock and all will be quiet... at least for now.-- skinflaps, Aug 11 2004 so you are not actually tied to the bed...-- po, Aug 11 2004 Hmmmm!. One wonders why your assistant has a problem with *your* books flying off the shelf when s/he gets up in the morning!.-- gnomethang, Aug 11 2004 That'l train ya.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 11 2004 I do beg your pardon. I couldn't resist it!-- gnomethang, Aug 11 2004 May I ask what was so "American" about [gnome]'s comment?-- luecke, Aug 11 2004 only Americans are *curious*? cannot wait for the assistant to get his own account here!-- po, Aug 11 2004 Dun'no [luecke] maybe it's all going abit loco.-- skinflaps, Aug 11 2004 now! who is being American?-- po, Aug 11 2004 Rails, [Tabs] rails.-- skinflaps, Aug 11 2004 A great idea, born of a vivid imagination, about a railway simulation/alarm clock. Of course the ensuing conversation will naturally be about differing transatlantic views on sexual politics - why wouldn't it?
Croissant.-- wagster, Aug 11 2004 Very lucid writing, skinflaps. I love it, except for the "excruciatingly loud" part. It reminds me of...alarm clocks. [+]bwv61 - funny. We Americans have the same joke about Brits. Propriety and the like. Just a guess: every [bwv] annote that doesn't contain the words "my assistant" is written my bwv's assistant.-- yabba do yabba dabba, Aug 11 2004 Oh, I see...so there's five of you.-- yabba do yabba dabba, Aug 11 2004 [yabba] [bwv61] I was considering this Today (honestly!) I was going to try for a view from [bwv] that does/does not include the word "smoking" and another one that does/does not include " my assistant" Including the one that doesn't do anything that will include 5 views!. I thing that combinations might yield higher results but I'm not complaining.All [bwv61]'s annos are a joy.Big bun for [skinflaps]-- gnomethang, Aug 11 2004 //And the ones that contain "my boss" are written by me.//Who is "me" in this context? Is it [bwv] or is it Bubu The Assistant? (Edit): Damn your speedy annotating, [bwv], you've gone and made me look foolish.-- spacemoggy, Aug 11 2004 Sounds like the camp prank where you make subaudible, gradually louder "chukka-chukka" noises in the night, and then when the sleeping victim just begins to stir, you shine a big flashlight in their face and yell "TRAIN!". When they sit bolt upright in terror, your accomplice (assistant?) flattens them with a pillow.
(Chuckle) ah, those were the days.-- GutPunchLullabies, Aug 11 2004 How very camp!-- gnomethang, Aug 11 2004 Good one, skinflaps, but I have to ask - was it inspired by the (surely apocraphal) story of the screening of the first "moving picture"? As the story goes, it was a short film showing a train drawing into a station. Apparently, it caused panic in the theatre as the viewers all expected the train to burst into the room at any moment.
[bwv61] - yeah, you and your assisstant do seem to be very close. Although I suppose you have to be just in order to see each other through all that smoke.
Don't get me wrong - I'm a smoker myself, and very fond of the practice. Not quite in your league, of course, but I do roll my own and turn my nose up at anything with a filter in it. Such a shame that it's a dying art.-- lostdog, Aug 11 2004 It would be like waking up from a nightmare every morning, wouldn't it. I can't imagine starting my day off with such a surge of adrenaline. I wake up at 8am but don't know I'm awake until noon. And I like it that way. But this alarm clock would work wonders for my sister, I'm sure.
[bwv], if I wasn't confused about you before, I am now. So there's 2 of you; bwv-the-female is the boss and smokes alot; bwv-the-assistant is the one that smokes 420 cigs a day?-- Machiavelli, Aug 11 2004 [lostdog] This would make the journey on the London underground a breeze in the morning. <aside>I too or is that 2 am confused, how many [bwv's] are there? <aside>-- skinflaps, Aug 12 2004 Aaaah, okay.-- Machiavelli, Aug 12 2004 some people might get so scared that they wet the bed (im lookin at you po)-- andrew1, Apr 28 2005 Wow! this is one confusing thread! So many deleted annos. Great fun trying to imagine the gaps.-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 28 2005 Worried by [andrew1]'s anno... why is he watching [po]? No, I don't think I want to know the answer to that.-- david_scothern, Apr 28 2005 random, halfbakery