Combine the two great loves of the American people!

Worship guns
Sunday Shooting School
Holey Sacraments

Armaments 7.62: For God so loved the world that he gave his only gun.
-- UnaBubba, Jan 16 2013

The Holy Hand Grenade http://m.youtube.co...3DxOrgLj9lOwk&gl=GB
And there was much rejoicing … [8th of 7, Jan 16 2013]

This is basically what church is already.
-- DIYMatt, Jan 16 2013


I know, [DIYMatt]. This just makes it official.
-- UnaBubba, Jan 16 2013


If only. It might actually help to promote more widespread firearm safety education and responsible use if tied in with the guilt-driven social network that is organized religion in America.

Establish the Church of Riflery and I'll join up, provided I get to be a Deacon. And also that it's a secular church. We can worship holy icons of Eugene Stoner, but I'm not interested in mixing capital-G God with my love for things that go 'bang!'.
-- Alterother, Jan 16 2013


Oh, it will rapidly devolve into factions... Black Pow(d)er; (Ass)ault (Former Catholic clergy); Handguns (Shaker); etc.

Plenty of room for your particular proclivity, [Alter].
-- UnaBubba, Jan 16 2013


I hereby establish the Hallowed (secular) Order of the Holy Black Rifle. Free high-capacity magazine with every conversion.
-- Alterother, Jan 16 2013


i'm assuming the average USian regards circumcision as something akin to sawing a few inches off the end of his penis substitute, err... favourite weapon?
-- UnaBubba, Jan 16 2013


When seeking communion, don't put your lips around the barrel.
-- UnaBubba, Jan 16 2013


Surely John Moses Browning, "The father of modern firearms" would be the messia.
-- Custardguts, Jan 16 2013


//Holey Sacraments//

Why are they holey? Has someone shot bullets through them?
-- phundug, Jan 16 2013


That's exactly why I spelled it with an "E". Well done, [phundug].
-- UnaBubba, Jan 16 2013


rather the whole point of the 2nd Planet of the Apes movie.

That being said, ook ook, line me up with a metric FAL with carbon-fibre furniture and barrel shroud, tac'd out in the latest LED flashlights and a built in TV, with a Hubble scope, 5-point seatbelt and WiFi. in 20mm plz with a chromed Smart car as a compensator.
-- FlyingToaster, Jan 16 2013


so what I hear you saying [FT] is that you want a light tank.
-- Voice, Jan 16 2013


This sounds like a broad Church, so presumably there will be room for the devotees of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch ('tis one of the sacred relics that Brother Maynard carries with him).

This week's sermon will be on the theme of "It is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness".

[+]
-- 8th of 7, Jan 16 2013


well, the good news is each and every one of you has donated the last time you saw a Hollywood movie. Thank you for your support.
-- theircompetitor, Jan 16 2013


[m-f-d] pointless ranting

That said, I'm all for it if I get to start a heretical splinter cult focusing around Gauss weaponry.
-- Hive_Mind, Jan 17 2013


You can do whatever you want in this church, [Hive Mind]. It's a free love free-for-all.
-- UnaBubba, Jan 17 2013


Presumably then it's fine to Give In To Your Hate?

"Anger, fear, aggression, Democrats ... the Dark Side are they".
-- 8th of 7, Jan 17 2013


I was gonna suggest a similar idea, to be called "The First Church of Christ Ballistic"-

There would also be an annual ritual, called the "Blessing of the Bullets."
-- smendler, Apr 27 2013


Hmm, lack of borg recently. Anyone know where to send the cake with a file in it?
-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 27 2013



random, halfbakery