Starting on 2 January each year, loudspeaker vans carrying huge illuminated signs patrol the streets of every city, town and village 24/7, warning them of the immanence of Christmas.

A typical loudspeaker broadcast would be, "WARNING ! WARNING ! ONLY 115 SHOPPING DAYS TO CHRISTMAS ! THE SHOPS WILL BE CLOSED FOR A WHOLE DAY AND YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BUY ANYTHING OR GET STUFF DELIVERED ! BE PREPARED ! GO TO THE SHOPS OR GO ONLINE NOW AND BUY MORE STUFF ! YOU'RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME ! ONLY 115 DAYS LEFT ! WARNING ! WARNING !"

The vans would be accompanied by people dressed as elves who hand out leaflets, and leave a trail of fake snow behind them.

At night, when there are fewer people on the streets to give leaflets to, the elves would bang on doors and warn householders in person, as well as pushing leaflets into letterboxes when they get no answer.

The warnings would also be broadcast by public address system in all public spaces and buildings to which the loudspeaker vans don't have access, i.e. rail stations, airports, libraries, hospitals and crematoria.

All TV and radio stations will transmit the same message three times per hour.

And thus no-one will miss the fact that it will soon be Christmas.
-- 8th of 7, Nov 30 2013

wat
-- Voice, Nov 30 2013


Whatever it is I usually say.
-- not_morrison_rm, Nov 30 2013


My math may be off but aren't there at least a few more weekdays in a year than that?
-- RayfordSteele, Dec 01 2013



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