He sat up in bed and unboxed his beauty,A powered-by-battery, vulcanized bootie.Stroking each velvety soft latex limbFrom its reservoir tip to its rotary rim,He admired its fine figure, hardly obscene,Lubricated and painted a lush evergreen.Stretching and pulling, his fingers in a blur,He quickly erected the pointy penile fir.A switch twixt two balls, he turned on with a grin,Making it tingle and jingle, shimmer and spin.Under each tiny branch, faux-covered in snow,Hid a led, blue blinking or with steady red glow.Twinkling and turning like a lighthouse in fog,It made him quite merry, his rubbered Yule log.Then Santa said, “Ms. Claus, wake up and see,My uncommonly comely condom Christmas tree!”-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004 Draw a picture.-- skinflaps, Nov 17 2004 Sorry, 145 words will have to do.-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004 Oh my...But what about the elves?-- blissmiss, Nov 17 2004 They'll have to do it them elves.-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004 Ahhhh, we're off to a great start for the holidays.-- Machiavelli, Nov 17 2004 Christmas wrapping for your package? Seems pricy for a one-time-use item. Please tell me it's a one-time-use item.-- Worldgineer, Nov 17 2004 Once only, one for the road, on the night before Christmas.-- FarmerJohn, Nov 17 2004 Wha, no mistletoe?-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Nov 18 2004 Reminds me of a joke I heard in kindergarten; "Know why Santa has such big balls? You would too if you only came once a year". Sorry, blame it on my older brother.-- blissmiss, Nov 18 2004 Just a couple of chipmunks.-- FarmerJohn, Nov 18 2004 tripple? three shots of Ripple...
anyway, I'm all for romantic adventure, but I think this tree thing would be very painful.-- dentworth, Nov 18 2004 Great nog. I'm wicked buzzed.-- Machiavelli, Nov 18 2004 A Trippel Sec (sic) (Hic!) tipple!-- gnomethang, Nov 18 2004 Make mine a triple salko; no ice.-- angel, Nov 18 2004 random, halfbakery