I envisage a largish metal coil, on its vertical axis with wheels on. Chihuahuas are strapped in an interlocking pattern to provide protection against projectiles, up to and including stream driven cats.

Obviously rigorous testing will be required to properly assess how many chihuahuas are needed to stop the projectiles, and some way to not to stand in the dog poop that will inevitably build up around the cylinder.

A testing program of several years may very well be required, in which case the number of chihuahuas and cats would be depleted, obviously to universal regret...
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2012

cannonised http://www.thefreed...onary.com/canonised
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012]

Reactive armour would be SO much better in this design ...

[+]
-- 8th of 7, Aug 24 2012


Only if you wear the first one. Have you ever known many chihuahuas and their owners? I wouldn't wear one if I knew it would save my life.
-- normzone, Aug 24 2012


//stream driven cats//

Catamarans?
-- AusCan531, Aug 24 2012


//I wouldn't wear one if I knew it would save my life.

It's probably guaranteed to do so, as no one in their right mind would come close with all the yapping and dog poo...
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012


Doesn't seem very practical to me.
-- sqeaketh the wheel, Aug 25 2012


//Doesn't seem very practical to me.

Ok....if we were to go for an inner layer of Chihuahuas, with an outer layer of chameleons, the stealth factor might improve the practicality?

Also there is a close-in support version, with a form-fitting mesh that goes under a shirt, with hamsters attached.
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012


an idea consisting solely of "let's torture chinchillas and cats". NOR: (original, funny, idea, interesting)

EDIT: it's funny and it stays
-- Voice, Aug 25 2012


//I submit that a chihuahua is not a chinchilla

I have it on divine authority that the Capybara is a fish, so you never know...

// an idea consisting solely of "let's torture chinchillas and cats". NOR: (original, funny, idea, interesting)

Not a word about the chameleons, I notice. That's so chameleonist...
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012


Would that be counted as miraculous, and lead to my canonisation?
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012


You mean stuff you full of black powder and an iron ball and then light the fuse? Yes, sure, no problem.
-- 8th of 7, Aug 25 2012


//and an iron ball and then light the fuse?

Reminds me strangely of being married...
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012


//a girlfriend who desperately wants a pet rabbit

Not much meat on a rabbit, she'd be better off with something bigger.
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012


A capybara ?
-- 8th of 7, Aug 25 2012


//a close-in support version, with a form-fitting mesh that goes under a shirt, with hamsters attached.//

The hamsters are bred to have mithril coats, I presume?
-- sqeaketh the wheel, Aug 25 2012


//A capybara ?

Hmm, a steam catapult to send capybara to areas short on fish for Lent, now that's an idea..

Anyway, currently working on the NMR Inc steam-driven mouse interceptor battery. Upon the radar picking up incoming steam-driven cats a screen of high-velocity mice is ejected.

Comes with optional chaff dispensers (fluffy things on a bit of string, laser pointers etc)
-- not_morrison_rm, Aug 26 2012



random, halfbakery