Treadmills, weight machines, flying rooms, static resistance machines... all designed and sized to build bigger and meatier chickens as quickly as possible.

Tired of having floor grit kicked in your face?
Attract more hens!
Stand up to chickenhawks!

This simple trick will add three inches to the circumference of your cocks in a matter of weeks!
-- UnaBubba, Feb 03 2015

[Ubie]!!!!!!
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 03 2015


Hello [Minimumwell].
-- UnaBubba, Feb 03 2015


I missed you. Can you scale this up for fish as well?
-- normzone, Feb 03 2015


I missed him too but 4,330 kilometres is a very long shot.
-- AusCan531, Feb 04 2015


As they said in old Mother Russia: No matter how you feed the wolf, the jackass has a bigger dick.

Actually they really said: No matter how you feed the wolf, it will look to the forest. But the other version won out.
-- theircompetitor, Feb 04 2015


You'll do a lot better to use free-range chickens, spread the food about in the dirt, feed them partially with active insects they'll have to chase, and spread a lot of rocks around they'll have to scamper over. At which point you'll have a lot of muscle-bound chickenheads (so far so good) but they'll be very, very tough. (bad)

Most people have a moral problem with keeping chicks in cages but if you want chicks or cocks that are soft and juicy for your mouth you'll need to do that, or at least suspend them and feed them in one place. the lack of exercise is what makes the meat desirable.

The present system of breeding them to grow very fast and killing them before their legs give out really is the best way as long as you don't worry about morality. May I point to my "stupider chickens" idea for making things more ethical?
-- Voice, Feb 04 2015


Hmmm, Only 3 inches, well that ain't very much!!! (Hellooo bubba, long time no speak!)
-- blissmiss, Feb 04 2015



random, halfbakery