A simple game to while away hours in the pub. Take a song lyric and change it slightly so that it contains the name of a celebrity.
For example: Wind Beneath My Wings: "Did you ever know I'm Bob DeNiro?"
Bitches Aint Shit: "Bitches ain't shit but Stevie Nicks."
Billie Jean: "Tom McKean is not my lover, he's just a girl who says that I am the one. Brian Kidd is not my son."
Autobahn: "Wir fahr'n fahr'n fahr'n auf der Vince McMahon"
Points are awarded for - making sense - being funny - the relative obscurity of the celebrity/song - a good singing voice
Appeals on points are to be directed to the Independent Points Commission.-- calum, Feb 21 2002 (?) The eyes! The eyes! http://www.cmgww.co.../feldman/photo.html [calum, Feb 21 2002] (?) "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" http://www.worldofy...for=radio-rolled-meGod I'm old. [waugsqueke, Feb 25 2002] Destiny's Chid - Independent Women http://www.rathergood.com/alf/Shoehorned version. [calum, Mar 06 2002] "let's face the music, Anne Frank" tra la la la laaaaah........
Just got to think of a song into which I can fit the Mull Historical Society now........-- salachair, Feb 21 2002 Two points for salachair. Both for the mental image of a devil-may-care Anne Frank tap-dancing around her attic.-- calum, Feb 21 2002 "Sugar and spice and Anneka Rice" tra la la laaaaaah.....-- salachair, Feb 21 2002 Thank you, calum. And might I be so bold as to award you fifty points for your Autobahn suggestion. Class.-- salachair, Feb 21 2002 How bout a song that already contains a celebrity name, but we change it? When hearing a particular song, I always mentally replace "Bette Davis" as follows: "she's got Marty Feldman eyes."-- quarterbaker, Feb 21 2002 I had to look up Marty Feldman to find out who he is. Consequently, quarterbaker storms into the lead with 51 points.-- calum, Feb 21 2002 Haven't done celebrity-rename rewrites, but have often enjoyed a few other little rewrites of songs. For example, after I took my then-girlfriend out to the range, she sang a bit from "Annie Get your Gun"; I rewrite one of those lines for me: "But my score with the ladies / is further down than Hades / 'cos you can't git a gal with a gun." Except actually I did 'git' that 'gal'.-- supercat, Feb 21 2002 "Mr. T and Zsa Zsa G live together in perfect har-mo-ny..."-- MrWrong, Feb 22 2002 As salachair seems to suggest, points in this game can be awarded by any participant or spectator. Only points awards that seem totally unjustifiable will be reconsidered by the IPC.-- calum, Feb 22 2002 the hills are alive... with the sound of (john) cusack... Nice idea calum LOL-- beckstar, Feb 22 2002 Love is like a butterfly, As soft and gentle as a sigh, The multicolored moods of love are like that Chandler Bing.-- salachair, Feb 22 2002 Just a Doris Day, Drink Sangria with Nick Park, And then later, when Phillipe Starck, Ian Holm. Just a Danny Kaye, Lou Reed animals in the zoo Then later, with Scooby Doo, Ian Holm. Oh it's such an old Will Hay, Puff Dad I spent it with you. Oh such a Linda Gray, You just keep me Mel Gibson, You just keep me Mel Gibson.
Just a Ronnie Kray, Problems all left Tom Jones, Vim Wenders on our own. It's such fun. Just Fay Dunnaway, You made me forget Will Self. I thought “I’m Vanessa Feltz”, Natalie Wood.
Oh it's such a Daniel Day, Lewis I spent it with you. Oh Larry Olivier, You just keep me Matt Damon, You just keep me Matt Damon.
You're going to reap Gwyneth Paltrow, You're going to reap, Gwyneth Paltrow, You're going to reap, Gwyneth Paltrow…
(with apologies to Lou Reed)-- goff, Feb 22 2002 Übercroissant to both calum and goff.-- st3f, Feb 22 2002 There's a staaaaar man, Waiting in the sky, He'd like to come and meet us, But he knows he'd blow Ralph Fiennes!
(ps - how do you do the line break again?)-- Saveloy, Feb 22 2002 Continuing with David Bowie:
"Charles Dance! Put on your red shoes and dance the blues!"-- calum, Feb 22 2002 "I'm going to Grace Jones, Grace Jones, Memphis Tennessee, I'm going to Grace Jones.Poor boys, Prince Philip and families, and we are going to Grace Jones." [Paul Simon, I'm sorry]-- sappho, Feb 22 2002 saveloy: < b r > ( o n l y w i t h o u t t h e s p a c e s )
Lucy Liu Ione Skye Neil Diamond...-- st3f, Feb 22 2002 [st3f] - many thanks!
Why do Peters and Lee appear Every time Roy Kinnear? Just like me They long to be Ceausescu...-- Saveloy, Feb 22 2002 On a dark Des O'ConnorMel & Kim in my hairWarm smell of The Spice GirlsRising up through Donna AirUp ahead in The Go-GosI see [sorry, got to go and do some work]-- hippo, Feb 22 2002 I like it Saveloy, I like it a lot.-- goff, Feb 22 2002 Cheers, goff, (your Lou Reed number had me larfing out loud btw). Points to CALLUM for Charles Dance, too.
[hippo] - what tune is that?-- Saveloy, Feb 22 2002 Hotel California-- hippo, Feb 22 2002 [Kylie]"I just can't John Woo out of my headCourtney Love is all I think aboutI just can't get you out Right Said FredBoy it's more than Dan Dare to think about"I'm pathetic at this game.-- sappho, Feb 22 2002 And I can only play that partAnd sit and nurse my broken heart, Sue LawleySue Lawley, Sue Lawley(etc)-- angel, Feb 22 2002 "Dom DeLuise, Argentina..."-- waugsqueke, Feb 22 2002 Jack Nicholson, won't you come, and wash away the rain Jack Nicholson, won't you come, won't you come [Black Hole Sun]-- quarterbaker, Feb 22 2002 I get knocked down by Vince McMahon, your never going to keep me down........-- Skye, Feb 22 2002 "I fought Jude Law, and Jude Law won."-- quarterbaker, Feb 22 2002 God Save McQueen-- thumbwax, Feb 22 2002 A little one from "the Knack"...
Ooh my little Fishy one Fishy one - When you gonna give me some Abe Vigoda - Wojohowitz on my back, on my back - Got it coming all for the Abe Vigoda - ... -
Never gonna stop give it up such a Barney mind - I was getting up from the touch of a younger kind - My my my aah ooh - Ma ma ma Abe Vigoda-- secretdonkey, Feb 22 2002 Oooo, remember Chaka Khan?
Jackie Chan, let me rock you, that's all I want to do Jackie Chan, let me rock you, let me feel for you...-- secretdonkey, Feb 22 2002 Okay, I'll go way out there with the INXS song, "Devil Inside"...
Ed Begley Jr. inside, Ed Begley Jr. inside - Every single one of us Ed Begley Jr. inside...
Okay, I apologize, and I'll stop now :-)-- secretdonkey, Feb 22 2002 Take a look at Myra Hindley, She's the only one I got, Not much of a girlfriend, Never seem to get (out) a lot.
Take Leonardo ‘cross the water, Like to see an Eminem, See Dr Dre in California, I'm hoping it's going Dido true, But there's Kate Winslet I can do.
Could we have Kipling for breakfast, Momma Cass, Mummy Dear, They got to have 'em with Kate Moss, Cos Donald Trump's a millionaire.
I'm al Quaida, I'm Osama, Do you want my autograph, I'm Al Bundy, what a joker, I'm playing my jokes upon you, While there's Nostradamus to do.
Don't you look at Mike Tyson, He's the Una Stubbs I got, Not much of Alf Garnet, Never Sting to get a lot.
Take Madonna ‘cross the water, Like to see Mary Tyler Moore, See the Arnold Schwarzenegger, I'm hoping it's going Tom Cruise too, But there's Nolan Sisters to do.-- notripe, Feb 23 2002 We don't need no education, We don't need no thought control, No dark sacrasm in the classroom, Margret Thatcher leave them kids alone, HEY THATCHER! Leave them kids alone! -- RayfordSteele, Feb 23 2002 This is the dawning of the age of a Queer Elvis, a Queer Elvis!-- RayfordSteele, Feb 23 2002 Very nice, notripe.-- bristolz, Feb 23 2002 Thanks Bristolz - do you have one?-- notripe, Feb 23 2002 Nah. Don't.-- bristolz, Feb 23 2002 your first one is a classic faceache!-- po, Feb 23 2002 Failte gu fearann air an duine Max Beasley, William agus Harry agus Charlie a'bhiathaidh; Kylie leam leabaidh no Cameron Diaz, Gu faigh mi mo lion an ordugh
Brad Pitt agaibh na Waltons nach gearain air cruadal, 'Sint air a' bhallaist Tom Selleck m'un uachdar, Courtney Cox seisear 's an lethcheann air cluasaig, Ulpagan Joey and Dawson-- salachair, Feb 25 2002 Lambchop "Caterpillar": I have shat on Green Gartside...-- calum, Feb 25 2002 I don't get that one, calum.-- salachair, Feb 25 2002 Green Gartside... is that the Scritti Politti fellow?-- waugsqueke, Feb 25 2002 waugs, yes it is. He is the only celebrity who rhymes with 'hillside'.
salachair, it is off "is a woman".-- calum, Feb 25 2002 Yes, I know the album. In fact I was made to listen to it very recently. I just didn't have a scooby who (or what) Green Gartside was. But I see now. I thank you.-- salachair, Feb 25 2002 One for the French inteelekchuals:
"She loves you, Yeah, yeah, yeah!
She loves you, Yeah, yeah, yeah!
She loves you, Jacques Der-rid-aaaa!"
(later in the same tune):
"And with a love like that, Foucault you should be gla-ad...."-- Saveloy, Feb 25 2002 Frankie Goes To Hollywood's "Power of Love" (the chorus):
Ken Barlow of love, Bruce Forsyth above (Kid Creooole) Papa! Nicoooole....-- Saveloy, Feb 27 2002 [blissmiss]: you've lost me there, which tune is that?-- Saveloy, Feb 27 2002 On an old re-run of Friends Phoebe sings Elton John's Tiny Dancer as "Hold me closer Tony Danza"-- Skye, Feb 27 2002 //supercat: I hope she's recovered now.//
Well, she wasn't bothered by my singing, as evidenced by the fact that four months after we met she became my fiancee and about four months after that my wife.
Recovery from the fatal blood clot that lodged in her lung a few months after that (March '99) is another story, alas.-- supercat, Feb 28 2002 (sorry to hear that, supercat)Finally found a space to shoe-horn into my favourite song!"They stab it with their Steely Dan,but they just can't Yasmine Bleeth"-- sappho, Mar 01 2002 ...and still Beach Boys are calling from far away,wake Lulu up in the middle of the night just to hear Cher say...-- hippo, Mar 01 2002 sappho: strangely enough legend has it that "they stab it with their steely knives" was a reference to Steely Dan after they used the line "Turn up the Eagles/ The neighbors are listening." in the song "Everything you did."
[hotel california snipped]-- st3f, Mar 01 2002 ...Then she Lindisfarne KraftwerkAnd she Sham69There was Vangelis in the corridorI thought I heard him say"Welcome to Falco, Spandau Ballet..."- such a Lydia Lunch...Her mind is Tiffany twistedShe's got the Morrissey BlurShe's got alot of Pet Shop Boys...-- hippo, Mar 04 2002 Where we are so far (with lots of st3f and sappho contributions): On a dark Des O'Connor Mel & Kim in my hair Warm smell of The Spice Girls Rising up through Donna Air Up ahead in The Go-Gos I see a Beverley Knight My PJ Harvey, And my sight grew Wim Wenders - "Wings of Desire" Jim Morrison in the Doorway Pink Floyd - "Division Bell" And I Viscount Linley to myself, this could BB King or just Martin Bell Then she Lindisfarne Kraftwerk Sinatra showed me the way There was Vangelis in the corridor I thought I heard him say "Welcome to Falco, Spandau Ballet" such a lydia lunch Such a Kelly, Grace Peter O'Toole at the Hotel California any time of year (any time of year) it's Donna Summer here (Donna Summer here) Her mind is Tiffany twisted She got the Morrissey Blur She got a lot of Pet Shop Boys They might be Giants Howard Jones in the courtyard Gordon Sumner's sweat Moondance to remember Flashdance to forget so I called up Nik Kershaw Please bring me Minogue, he said Bryan Adams ain't been here since Summer '69 and still Beach Boys are calling from far away, wake Lulu up in the middle of the night just to hear Cher say...-- hippo, Mar 04 2002 Can I help?
...
Nixon and the Office Watergate Such a Peter Lacey (such an Orlando Pace) They Liv Tyler it up at the Hotel California What an Ice-T rhyme, bring your Arthur Blythe
Mirrorball on the ceiling The Pink Ladies on ice Cheech said 'We are all just prisoners here, of Vanilla Ice' Andy Warhol's chambers, Dan Rather for the feast They stab it with their Steely Dan's, But they just can't Phil Hartman (deceased) Last thing Miss September ({pick a year}), I was Running for The Doors [A slapping by Zsa Zsa Gabor] {{my alternate}} State of Mind by Clint Black Seuss Geisel, Theodore 'Just the facts ma'am', said Friday, 'We are Pearl Jam to receive, You can check out Enya time you like, but you can Wonder, Stevie'.
Yadda Yadda Yadda
(Apologies to hippo for using Doors reference again...I'm trying to come up with something else)-- UhhOK, Mar 04 2002 //'We are all just prisoners here, of Vanilla Ice'// <chuckles>-- hippo, Mar 05 2002 I would have liked "Relax, said Frankie, we are Pearl Jam to receive". But most of that is top notch, well done UhhOK.-- sappho, Mar 05 2002 If I had a million dollars We wouldn't have to eat Bob Dylan...-- waugsqueke, Mar 05 2002 But we *would* eat Bob Dylan Of course we would, we'd just eat more of him...-- salachair, Mar 06 2002 He says, "Son Amadeus a memory, I'm not Pauly Shore how it goes. But it's sad and it's sweet, And I, Picabo Street, Wore Remy Jungerman's clothes."-- ickle me, Mar 06 2002 we need more christmas carols, i think, like "have yourself a mary j. blige kriss kross", or "" and "Oh, Mr. T, Oh, Mr. T, howie mandel your branches."-- subgenius, Jul 05 2002 "cuz your friends don't dance/ and if they don't dance/ well they're, no Kevin Kline". (a collaboration between myself and my best friend, i can't take full credit)-- miss fern, Jul 06 2002 Not quite celebrities, well not unless someone other than me occasionally peruses Wisden, but how about Cricketers of the year smuggled unobtrusively into Spandau Ballet's 'Gold'? Thank you for Larry Gomes I'm sorry that the chairs are all Warne I left them here Michael Vaughan These are my EG Hayes Slowly being AP Day Just another play Peter May Oh, but I'm proud of you, but I’m Jack McGlew Nothing left to make me Lindwall Luck has left me Malcolm Marshall Old (Old!) Always believe in Insole You've got the R Subba Row You're MJ Turnbull Always believe in, Mold! (Mold!) Glad that you're Jackie Milburn There's something I JT Hearne You're indestructible, Azhuradin... It did go on rather a lot more but I thought I'd save you all the torture.-- DrBob, Nov 16 2009 When Phil Babb-ulary duties to be done, to be done Roger Troutman's lot is not a happy one-- calum, Nov 18 2014 Tony Dorigo / children at your feet-- calum, Apr 16 2016 And the beat goes on, Sonny and Cher
Lady Lady DI-- r_kreher, Apr 21 2016 Needing some help with this: Felicity Kendal Michael Knighton DeForest / Kelly ... um er-- calum, Apr 22 2016 Kelly Brook Taylor Swift Boat Veterans for Truth Justice and the American Way Down South Shore Line Type Feed the Bird Brain one is a genius, the other's insane, to prove their mousy worth, they'll overthrow the earth, they're Pinky, they're Pinky May the Force Bea Arthur Clarke Kelly...
Not sure I'm playing the right game...-- RayfordSteele, Apr 22 2016 random, halfbakery