Most people who live alone with cats know that someday the person who feeds them will continue feeding them after they pass away. Cats eat their owners after they die.
So why not celebrate the inevitable? Beautiful tombstone with your name on it that easily attaches to any litter box so after kitty "lays" you to rest, when animal services comes to find them a new home, they'll know where to find you as well.
Fill out the simple order form:
Name___ Birth date___ Estimated passed away date____ Estimated passed through the cat date____
(This one's dedicated to you 8th, I know you would have liked it)-- doctorremulac3, Jun 03 2022 Perfect accessory to go with this. Your_20Dead_20Body_...20Cat_20Food_20Dish [doctorremulac3, Jun 03 2022] Oops, meant to put this here. https://www.dropbox...6i&st=g7bx5rmd&dl=0 [doctorremulac3, Nov 05 2024] Yikes!! https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-66775985 [doctorremulac3, Nov 06 2024] Apparently dogs also eat their deceased owners. https://web.archive...-you-died-get-facts(article accessed via internet archive) [Loris, Nov 06 2024] For the discerning ho-meow-ner.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 04 2022 catalogical.-- Voice, Nov 06 2024 Perhaps you could also do a similar thing for American XL Bullies; proud dog-owners could dispose of their children's remains in the nearby park's specially designed commemorative dog-waste bins, in little black plastic bags.-- Loris, Nov 06 2024 Didn't know what an XL bully was. Yikes!! (link)
By the way, dogs kill 25 to 35,000 humans a year. Looked it up and one source says cats kill about 35 people a year.
"While it's extremely rare, house cats can potentially kill people through accidental suffocation, particularly in the case of infants where a cat might fall asleep on their face blocking their airway, or by causing severe infections from deep scratches or bites, especially in vulnerable individuals with weakened immune systems; however, a healthy adult human cannot be killed by a typical house cat in a direct confrontation due to their size and lack of lethal force."
Wondering if tripping is an issue, I've had cats try to trip me rubbing up against me trying to get pet while I walk. Never succeeded though. Yet anyway.
By the way, I love dogs and cats. Don't trust pit bulls though.-- doctorremulac3, Nov 06 2024 Yeah, both cats and dogs kill people accidentally. I think most people know not to leave babies alone with a cat. You're right about cats being a definite trip hazard, too. I'm inclined to discount all these accidental killings though, there's a base risk to all things people enjoy.
However, I don't think housecats kill many people deliberately, while dogs do, and some breeds clearly represent a significant risk.-- Loris, Nov 06 2024 Yea, I heard about the dogs eating us, something like dogs wait till they're starving and cats barely wait till you're dead but I'm gonna be sceptacle about that.
To deal with this grusome subject I will revert to my black humor defense mechanism.
(COMMERCIAL)
"Folks, introducing "Hummy Nums Catfood Treats" tm. We've got 6 cat owners who think their pet would rather eat a bowl of the leading cat food than them if they die but today we're going to put it to the test. What's your name and what's your little kitty's name?"
"I'm Karen, and this little fuzzball is Fluffles."
"Okay Karen, think Fluffles would rather eat the leading catfood or you if you died?"
"Oh, no question, Fluffles loves here fur mommy, she'd never eat me."
"Okay let's do the test!" (They bring out a fake corpse of Karen and put it next to a bowl of cat food. The cat sniffs the bowl and moves over to the Karen mockup and starts chowing down."
(Karen) "FLUFFLES NO!!"
(host) "Ha ha! Oookay, now let's try next to a bowl of Hummy Nums Catfood Treats!"
(Cat stops eating the human mockup and moves over to the bowl.)
There you have it, 6 out of 10 cats will choose Hummy Nums Catfood Treats over you!
Aaaaand... scene.-- doctorremulac3, Nov 06 2024 random, halfbakery