One of the main downers of not being employed is not being able to call in sick. You wake up feeling bad...you just lay there.

I miss calling the company and gasping in my most quavering voice, "I won't be in today. I'm running a fever and have a sore throat."

We need an 800-number where an efficient-sounding secretary answers and when you tell her/him you're feeling poorly, says "Well, you'd better stay home today. We'll be ok. Just take care of yourself. Anything special we should take care of for you?"

And you could say "Yes. Would you please fire Bob? Tell him I want his office empty by 5 PM."

See, I'm feeling better already.
-- melanerpes, Jun 19 2001

Now when I saw this title I thought it would be something else. In my scenarioi the 0800 number would provide you with a cast-iron sickness alibi. They would phone your work for you and pretend to be your doctor/dentist/spouse/chirpractor etc. and tell your boss that you can't come in. So no having to fake it on the phone!
-- goff, Jun 19 2001


I like the idea. But that's a very hurtful afterthought. Why fire Bob? He's a cool dude. If you have to fire anyone, fire Bill.
-- DrBob, Jun 19 2001


goff: alibi services are already Baked (for affairs, at least).

I like this idea. It would be especially useful for people who don't have a boss --- freelancers, owners of small companies, etc..
-- wiml, Jun 19 2001


would anyone actualy pay for this or would it need government funding?
-- RobertKidney, Jun 19 2001


Maybe it's a 900-number, not an 800-number.
-- egnor, Jun 19 2001


I think it's a good idea. I hate calling in sick. I feel so bad. But yea, Bob is cool. He shouldnt be fired. Poor guy.
-- toodayistheeday, Apr 25 2004


What a groovy and croissant-worthy idea! :oD Especially the bit about Bob, but I think you are misunderstanding, folks. melanerpes is not meaning anything bad about Bob who is an excellent and valuable member of the team. He is instructing Bob to fire at will (merely leaving out the comma after the word "fire"). Will has always been a slacker. ;o)
-- timble, Apr 26 2004


I used to work in a circus as a human cannonball, but i got fired...
-- MikeOliver, Apr 26 2004


A 900 number! Excellent, egnor. For all those ex-workers who used to call the office at all hours and spend their entire vacations in conference calls. Instead of calling a sex line, they would call the work line, and officious sounding men and women would talk to them in a business-like tone, ending each conversation with, “It’s a deal!”
-- ldischler, Apr 26 2004



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