These deluxe underpants are sold in high-end stores. They are twinned with another pair of underpants somewhere, when one pair is sold, the opposite pair is stocked next on the shelf. The prestigious "Businessman's Underpants" brand covers the cost of hidden twinned technology. The underpants are not labelled as special or twinned.

Businessmen then go on their way and if they happen to be close to their twinned underpant wearer, such as in a board meeting, they start beeping. If they follow the increased-rate-beeping powerful magnets activate until they are drawn together and attached to the buttocks of a fellow businessman. the beeping gets louder and louder, elephants trumpet and fart sounds and they must take off their pants to be free again
-- Treejuice, Dec 21 2018

croissant-patterned_20knickers "With a 1/2baker-proximity-triggered custard-filled explosion sachet", no less! [Wrongfellow, Dec 22 2018]

Death Star Underwear Death_20Star_20Underwear
Not a place you want to "feel a great disturbance" ... [8th of 7, Dec 22 2018]

Can't think why this is not this xmas's hot fashion trend.
-- pocmloc, Dec 21 2018


Have you been watching American Psycho again, or just spending too much time with Sturton?
-- RayfordSteele, Dec 21 2018


Personally, I'd rather not have quantum-entangled smalls. It's prime Fermi Paradox material.
-- not_morrison_rm, Dec 21 2018


// spending too much time with Sturton? //

We didn't know that Broadmoor had started letting him have visitors again ...
-- 8th of 7, Dec 21 2018


Sturton has never actually been convicted of _anything_. Well, there have been a couple, but they were both overturned. His general philosophy is "what a jury can't believe, they won't convict you for". It seems to have worked so far.

Which reminds me, the intercalary has been asking after you. Something to do with limes and a popcorn-making machine?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 21 2018


I thought that was the elevated lavvy with the built-in small hydroelectric generator, to charge up phones when it's flushed?

You did mention to Sturton that the phone should be on the outside of the device? If not, remember never to borrow his phone.
-- not_morrison_rm, Dec 21 2018


No, there was definitely a lime involved. At least I think he said "lime". It could have been "ocelot", but I can't sure - he had a mouth full of buffet at the time.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 21 2018


// His general philosophy is "what a jury can't believe, they won't convict you for". It seems to have worked so far. //

Did he read Matilda as a child, but mistakenly think Miss Trunchbull was supposed to be the protagonist?
-- notexactly, Jan 04 2019


At first i thought that the coming of this product would cast gloom over the wearisome parade of festive corporate drinkies but acksherly I think that if we could expand the pairing from two to say six, then halfcut white men of ages 25-65, could amuse themselves by forming up to twelve-legged beasts, linked in benzene butt rings, scuttling about from All Bar Ones to All Bar One, like The Thing but Tory.
-- calum, Jan 04 2019


// like The Thing but Tory. //

Up until now, our understanding has been that Mr. Rees-Mogg is already a Tory.
-- 8th of 7, Jan 04 2019



random, halfbakery