When you get on the bus and sit down, punch in your destination on the keypad built into your seat. Then go to sleep. When you get to your stop, the widow* next to you opens and your seat dumps you out onto the sidewalk.
*or window, if you prefer-- AO, Jul 17 2003 What if the woman next to you's husband is still alive?-- silverstormer, Jul 17 2003 Then you should take your hand off her knee.-- DrCurry, Jul 17 2003 That's not my hand-- silverstormer, Jul 17 2003 You could program her husband’s seat to dump him out at the next stop.-- AO, Jul 17 2003 Do it between stops, and you'll take care of the widow issue.-- DrCurry, Jul 17 2003 bun for AO just for leaving the typo in.-- po, Jul 17 2003 For fun, press the button for a future stop, and then get off the bus. If the person who was sitting next to you puts their bag on the empty seat, then their bag gets tossed out the window. <nelson muntz> Ha, ha! </nelson>-- phundug, Jul 17 2003 I recently heard that you can get a ticket for sleeping in the New York subway trains...Is this true?-- senatorjam, Jul 17 2003 ticket? to ride?-- silverstormer, Jul 17 2003 Nope - Ticket from the cops. been happening since Mike Bloomberg took over, It sounds like an urban legend to me, but my girlfriend swears it happened to a friend of a friend..-- senatorjam, Jul 17 2003 It would be better if you could buy a sleeping ticket for about 10% more than regular fare. That way, when you’re asleep, and the cop comes by, taps you with his night stick and says, “Oi, you can’t sleep here,” you just show him your sleeping ticket, the cop says, “Right, carry on, then,” and leaves you alone. Other passengers with awake-only tickets look on jealously.-- AO, Jul 18 2003 //taps you with his night stick // <snicker snicker>-- silverstormer, Jul 18 2003 sj: I've nodded off many a time on the ride home, entirely without reprimand, and seen many others sleeping unmolested.
The transit police do target the homeless and panhandlers riding the rails, but they tend to focus on the drugged out, lying in a puddle of piss, stinking up the whole compartment types. (The NAACP lost that fight: the subway is private property.)
There has been a lot of talk recently about a supposed ticketing spree, but the average number of tickets has not gone up, and similar horror stories abound from the 70s, 80s and 90s.-- DrCurry, Jul 18 2003 She wore black. She always did, her and a million like her. Wandering widows working for the bus lines. 'Ticket please.' I could see her lips through the black netting. 'I have a sleeper stop in Bartlett...' I begin hesitantly. That enigmatic smile, 'Don't worry. I've done this before.'-- k_sra, Jul 18 2003 <Checks price of Martin Baker shares, grins, reaches for brochure on new Beechcraft.......>-- 8th of 7, Jul 18 2003 I don't recommend sleeping on public transportation. You're an easy target for being robbed and/or beaten. (I know the latter from experience.)-- waugsqueke, Jul 18 2003 Er .... sorry about that. We thought you were somebody else.-- 8th of 7, Jul 18 2003 k_sra, do your wandering widow as a superheroine, I like the cut of her jib or gib or giblet or something.-- po, Jul 18 2003 good idea gone wrong about halfway.. type in your destination and go to sleep... when you arrive a set of springhands(retracting boxing gloves?) slaps you awake-- tazmase2, Jul 19 2003 *to make it better*: I think you should add a complementary peanut and coke dispenser to the "dumper-offer" so we can eat on the way down the chute. It would make me more prone to ride the bus. -k.w.-- tazmase2, Jul 19 2003 random, halfbakery