“Rrriing!”
“Hi, I’m Ernie!”
“Uh, hello…”
“I’ve just got to tell you about this great pool grill, the Buoy-B-Q, at a special price this week!”
“Sorry, my supper guests…”
“You guessed right, this is a barbecue that floats in your pool. This teak and stainless steel wonder has wave breakers and an insulated bottom to avoid burns and heat loss. And absolutely gratis with your purchase, you’ll receive cork-handled utensils, a tan-thru grill apron and two spark-resistant air mattresses.”
“Being vegetarians, we don’t grill much and…”
“Then you’re in luck with our Buoy-B-Q hot tub option. Just unfurl the buoyant spa curtain around the pool grill, join them with the seat straps, open the insulation vents to let the water through, pour on more charcoal and you’ll soon be leaning back, warming your bod' while downing a cold beer and a hot soybean sausage.”
“Well, gosh you know we don’t even have a pool so…”
“There you go, now 9 out of 10 wading-booted fisherpersons swear by the Buoy-B-Q. Their catch is hooked, netted, gutted, grilled and in the gut in ten minutes flat. Now let me tell you about its clever fire extinguisher…”
-- FarmerJohn, Mar 16 2004

Does it come with a scraper to remove the film of fat from the surface of your pool? But I applaud you on fire safety grounds.
-- kropotkin, Mar 16 2004


I'll take ten.
-- yabba do yabba dabba, Mar 16 2004


[Toadinnov] keep your hibachi away from my lilo!
-- BunsenHoneydew, Mar 17 2004


It almost gets a - vote for the telemarketing, but I'm not that cruel. And it is a novel method of presentation. So it gets the vote it deserves.

Out of interest, how spark resistant can you make an air mattress?
-- RobertKidney, Mar 17 2004


gross... floating spit. That's nasty.
-- k_sra, Mar 17 2004


Huh uh. Just grab any soiled garments and wipe-off rags and toss them into the floating washing machine that's right there.
-- dpsyplc, Mar 17 2004


That’ll teach you to dive in without looking first.
-- AO, Mar 17 2004


Sartep opening Buoy-B-Q box and setting Buoy-B-Q in the water: "Take that, you constantly 75 degree (F) pool water!"
-- sartep, Mar 18 2004


I used to do a lot of work for a sailing charity, taking kids out on week-long trips. One of our favourite games was to persuade the kids that there was a Burger King (called EC1) right in the middle of the English Channel. When they discovered it was just a big metal buoy, we'd distract them by persuading them that we were watching 'Neighbours' on the radar screen (no, honestly, it's just the signal isn't very good out here, that's all...)
-- moomintroll, May 19 2005



random, halfbakery