Customers enjoy excellent Indian food in traditional surroundings (red flock wallpaper and Abba songs played on the sitar) but every twenty minutes or so the entire catering staff launch into a high pitched and largely incomprehensible song and dance routine, quite possibly with guns.

To complete the spectacle the routines could be broadcast on large TV screens, digitally filtered to appear to be third generation copies with subtitles.
-- revbucksatan, Jan 24 2002

One of the waiters would have to be a very obvious "baddie".
-- hippo, Jan 24 2002


Have you eaten in Brick Lane lately? I swear some restaurants recruit entirely from the Karachi criminal underworld.

That or the maitre'd would have to be an overweight businessman from Madras, wearing a light coloured suit.
-- revbucksatan, Jan 24 2002


Do they sing and dance like you describe in Brick Lane?
-- thumbwax, Jan 24 2002


How would you fit in the obviously speeded up car chase of Ambassadors and Enfields?
-- Gordon Comstock, Jan 24 2002


That'd be the home delivery service.
-- -alx, Jan 24 2002


It wouldn't work in Brick Lane because all Bollywood films have an 'on the grassy mountainside, singing' scene. But then you could use the large screens and show high definition pictuires of the grassy mountainside.
-- gadgetear, Jan 24 2002


Every now and again the fire sprinklers could go off to recreate the inevitable oh-I've-accidently-stumbled-under-a-waterfall revealing wet sari routine. Mind you, in my experience you get waiters rather than waitresses in Indian restaurants and a damp kurta doesn't have the same appeal somehow.
-- Gordon Comstock, Jan 25 2002


[Gordon] your insight is god-like. May I also suggest the following: - A (bhi-SHOOM) type punching sound for EVERY swift hand motion that occurs, including setting of the silverware, handing of the check, etc.

- An elderly woman in a white Sari who will cry her soul out at your table when you are told by the waiter that there are is no more masala dhosa

- All waiters must be capable of doing triple back flips through the air over tables

- A table that resembles a fruit cart that you can use -- to hurl surly waiters into.
-- mahatma, May 02 2003



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