I think this is going to get boned to hell but I'm going to post it anyway. A retractable hose that coils around beneath the bedframe, hooked directly into the household plumbing, with an optional personal attachment to make it useable by women. At the end of the hose, or the attachment, are tiny holes through which water flows by pressing one of two buttons.

The sleeping user gets an urge to pee but is too lazy to leave bed. He or she reaches around the edge of the bedframe, grabs the hose which is securely clipped out of view, pulls it up and around and depresses the button starting the flow of water. He or she relieves his or herself, then depresses the second of two buttons to send through a burst of sanitizing solution, lets the hose retract into it's underbed hose receptacle, and clips the end of the hose back into it's holder. Next to the underbed receptacle is a small box of proprietary wipes which can also be disposed of down the hose, like all wastes, directly into the sewer system.

The major downside I suppose would be the need to have plumbing in your bedroom. For the ability to pee in bed I think I'd be willing to make the investment. Perfect for hospitals.

In the morning when the bed is made, the apparatus is completely out of view, lest visitors realize you're too lazy to leave bed to pee.
-- lilsis, Feb 20 2007

halfbaked? Cricket-Bed
A troglodite version of this idea. No frills. None at all. [m_Al_com, Feb 21 2007]

So it's an external catheter then ?
-- Jinbish, Feb 20 2007


i would not call it an external catheter since the tube diameter is completely different. think more along the lines of a vacuum cleaner hose.
-- lilsis, Feb 20 2007


Sexy, too.

"Wanna go to bed?"
-- nuclear hobo, Feb 20 2007


Alleviating oneself in the bed may be a dangerous thing to get used to...
-- placid_turmoil, Feb 20 2007


Alleviating oneself?
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2007


Too fancy a word to be used in conjunction with bodily fluids?
-- placid_turmoil, Feb 20 2007


strange idea to be attracted to after 2 years, placid

welcome back. which word were you alluding to?
-- po, Feb 20 2007


pee?
-- methinksnot, Feb 20 2007


//Alleviating oneself// // Too fancy a word to be used in conjunction with bodily fluids?//

Not at all. Just not entirely the word I think you may have been looking for.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 20 2007


[po] I've been timidly hanging around for a couple weeks actually :) Thanks for the welcome though!

[MB] Indeed, looking it up, I realise it doesn't mean quite what I thought it did... My french-speaking mind seems to be laying Latinist traps for me at every step of the way.

Origin from late Latin <i>allevare- ‘to lighten’</i>
-- placid_turmoil, Feb 20 2007


Your original point was a good one [placid_turmoil].
-- Texticle, Feb 20 2007



random, halfbakery