Ever wake up with an itchy back, or leg ? If you are alone you are faced with contorting yourself in order to effect a good scratching, risking a nasty cramp. Then there is also the possible frustration of ineffective, half-bitten finger nails to consider. A sleeping partner seldom welcomes the prospect of being wakened for this purpose "Can I have a wee scratch.... pleeeeease???" GRRRRRR!!!!!!

Enter the Bed of Finger-Nails. This is a device that resembles a stranded millipede, its legs waving frantically in the air as it tries to right itself. Now imagine those legs have been made to look and act like human fingers, with well honed nails (that can be manicured and painted up in any colour) There is a choice of finger types from the delicate pianist to the grubby mechanic, and a control knob for speed and movement amplitude.

You simply stretch out the Bed of Finger- Nails on your mattress and the next time you have a nocturnal itch, roll the affected part of your anatomy unto the extended fingers, and activate it to receive the blissful relief of its harmonic scratching frenzy.
-- xenzag, May 04 2006

mmmmmm grubby mechanic.
-- po, May 04 2006


+ I'll take one in 'lead guitarist' format.
-- xandram, May 04 2006


"I'll be ready in a few weeks, Darling, I'm just painting my nails."
-- baconbrain, May 04 2006


Just serve your partner toast in bed. The next night, the bed might as well be full of fingernails.

Btw, you might want to spray your bed with some heavy duty insecticide - it sounds like you've got bedbugs.
-- DrCurry, May 05 2006


"Honey, where did you get all these fingernail scratches?!"

"Huh, would you believe my bed of fingernails got too excited last night?"
-- Whirligig, May 05 2006



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