Bears, judging by the recent fomectation of posts, are becoming an increasing problem.
A number of ingenious (from the word "genius" meaning "genius" and the prefix "in" meaning "not") bear-proof devices have been postulated, but none seems well- suited to the light-travelling carefree camper.
Cumbersome anti-bear device woes begone!
MaxCo. is slightly proud to present the BearBeGone Anti- Bear Sleeve. Consisting of a comfortable over-sleeve richly padded with sachets of cyanoacrylate adhesive, it can be worn on the longest of hikes by camp people everywhere.
For its effectiveness, it relies on the fact that whilst a grizzly bear has muscles which can close its jaw with a force of over four hundred kilos, the muscles which open its jaw can apply a mere 1.5kg of force.
All that is necessary to ensure your utter safety is to make certain that (a) the bear bites the arm wearing the BearBeGone Anti-Bear Sleeve first and (b) said arm belongs to one of your fellow campers.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014 OK, what damned fool bunned this?-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014 This device has the added bonus that the wearer has one arm and hand free to take a selfie of themselves having their other arm ripped from its socket by an angry bear.
We feel it is only fair to point out that, as well as great big sharp pointy teeth, bears are also generously provided with huge sharp scratchy slashy claws attached to the ends of their limbs, and therefore simply gluing their jaws shut is not going to render said bear harmless, either to the camper whos arm it's just torn off, or to anyone else in the vicinity.-- 8th of 7, Apr 16 2014 //or to anyone else in the vicinity.//
I'm not so sure. Gluing a colleague into the mouth of a bear will at least slow it down or create a significant paws.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014 Why not just throw a "treat" at the bear, which it catches in its mouth, and which then glues shut its mouth?-- Vernon, Apr 16 2014 Er, that is the actuall idea here, [Vern]. Please, do try to keep up …
It helps if you have sufficient psychopathic traits to allow you to view your fellow hikers as nothing more than self-propelled bear treats and/or expendable decoys. This should not be a problem for the vast majority of HB contributors.-- 8th of 7, Apr 16 2014 \\Why not just throw a "treat" at the bear, which it catches in its mouth\\
That's just the sort of low cunning that I'd expect from a sombrerophile.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014 // Gluing a colleague into the mouth of a bear will at least slow it down or create a significant paws.
The idea was too derivative, but that comment caused the buns to appear.-- sophocles, Apr 16 2014 If the arm was a superfluous prosthetic, and fired the kinds of metal bolts they used to have in the Monty Python chocolate surprise, the bear would engage its paws in disengaging the bolts ... Shirley?
This way the arm-and-sleeve could be worn by someone one doesn't particularly and as such dislike, like a spouse or child.
For saving the lives of thousands of little children taken hiking in bear country mainly just because they can't run very fast, [+]-- skoomphemph, Apr 16 2014 //The idea was too derivative// it's derivativeness was integral.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014 And if you're not wearing one of these, then you're bear-naked.-- normzone, Apr 16 2014 Unless the glue's binding force is higher per-beartooth than the tooth's anchoring strength the bear can simply use its limbs to remove the obstruction.-- Voice, Jun 22 2015 Would a variation work with cougars ?-- FlyingToaster, Jun 22 2015 I think cougars only bite if you ask them to.-- Voice, Jun 22 2015 What about the claws?-- doctorremulac3, Jun 22 2015 Our lawyers are working on it.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 23 2015 //This should not be a problem for the vast majority of HB contributors.//
{borrows a pair of glasses, so as to add proper owlishness to the disapproving look directed at [8th]}-- pertinax, Jun 28 2015 random, halfbakery