From Scotland, world cholesterol centre, comes the "Bacon Roll Dispensing Vending Machine".

Both elements, roll and bacon, are kept frozen and cooked on demand for that freshly made taste. Imagine a snake-like conveyor belt with seperate comparments side by side. Bacon has decent amount of fat on it, roll is of the correct "Chewy morning roll slathered with butter" variety.

Stock is kept frozen until correct money is inserted, whereupon conveyor advances one unit, dispensing roll and bacon onto seperate conveyors. Roll passes though a micowave chamber (5s at 2kW?), bacon under an intense halogen grill, flipped halfway, visable from the outside through glass screen. Bacon is flipped onto roll, and emerges from chute. Total time elapsed, 20 seconds.

If machine is not used for 30 minutes, it cleans itself like an automatic toilet.

Yum.
-- shameless_self_reference, Sep 12 2002

Microwave vending machines... http://www.chaparra...vending/notes.shtml
...and other unusal types. [phoenix, Sep 12 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

For [calum]... http://www.tastyfries.com
...who likes his deep fried. [phoenix, Sep 12 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

If this is to be properly Scottish, the bacon would not be grilled, it would be shallow fried in week old fat. But that's a minor quibble. Any chance of a domestic model for the morning after?

Re link: I can feel my arteries hardening already.
-- calum, Sep 12 2002


This has potential... I envisage its ultimate form: The 'Scooby Snack' Machine.

Thats not actually a genuine reference to that Hanna Barbara mut, but a roll filled with fried ambrosia good enough to feed the gods themselves (and give them heart disease). This said roll consists of bacon, egg, potato scone, hamburger and sliced sausage (all fried). It is sold exclusively at two 'hamburger stands' in Glasgow and eaten exclusively in the evening by taxi drivers on shift and drunken students returning home.

Hmmm... satisfrying.
-- Jinbish, Sep 12 2002


If you design the bacon griller like one of those "conveyor" bread toasters they have in hotels, you don't need to flip the bacon. The problem would be the hot fat dripping on the heating elements.

What about sauce ? You didn't mention sauce. There will be a choice of red or brown, won't there ?
-- 8th of 7, Sep 13 2002


[calum] Yes, deep frying is preferable for cuisine to be truly Scottish, but I suspect the UN would outlaw such a device as its products are so unhealthy they could be construed as "chemical weapons".

[8th] I thought about the double-sided grill, but discarded it for the reason you mention. BUT the bacon could be sandwiched between two nonstick meshes and conveyed in past two *vertical* grills, the fat dripping straight down to be collected and kept warm for customers to "dunk" their rolls into.

Alternatively: You stick your hands through two rubber gloves like they use in nuclear power plants. Inside the machine is a big frying pan, and a spatula on a hook. You cook the bacon just how you like it, flipping as required, then place it on the roll, which oozes down a chute. Sauce of course costs extra and is completely overpriced- but then once you have your hot greasy roll in your hand, you're going to pay 20p to get some sauce on it, aren't you? Meanwhile fans waft bacon cooking smells over the immediate vicinity, and microphones pickup the frying sound which is amplified through loudspeakers.

Ah yes the Scoobie Snack, as sold by the wee van at the Botanic Gardens. Actually I heard a nutritionist on the radio today who thinks a fried breakfast is good for you- it's digested slowly, so that it keeps you feeling full all day, so you don't snack. Woody Allen's "Sleeper" fantasy seems to be coming true! Incidentally, vending fans, this film contains a coin operated priest.
-- shameless_self_reference, Sep 15 2002


Define: Bacon has decent amount of fat on it
-- thumbwax, Sep 15 2002


Being a frenchman I was not really used to the delicate and refined Scottish cuisine for my first attempt at eating a Scoobie. It remained in my body for a very short period of time (i.e. from Botanic Garden roundabout to Queen Margaret Bridge which is about 20 meters far) and the experience was far from "satisfrying". But as you said this roll is reserved to taxi drivers on shift and drunken students returning home and i obviously do not belong to the first category. That's why I decided to give the roll a second try.Time helping I grew fond of the fried thingy. All this to say I would never allow a machine to replace "Maggie"(the kind woman sacrifrying her life for our welfare). But you can't stop technology. So technically speaking you would have to make sure that the frying oil is kept for at least 5 years to get the true "Glasgow West End Scoobie flavour"....And the rolls would also have to be stale.
-- cosmocrator, Aug 28 2003


Oh, thanks a lot [cosmocrator] for popping this back to the top. Now I'm craving a soft white barm cake stuffed with crisp bacon and oozing molten butter and ketchup (maybe with a fried egg too). Ordinarily not such a problem, just pop to shop on the way home, but THERE IS NO BACON IN THIS COUNTRY!!. Only crappy "breakfastbakon" that"s so thin it's see-through and shatters as soon as you touch it.

It's times like these that make me seriously doubt the wisdom of my decision to leave the UK.
-- squeak, Aug 28 2003


I'm so with you there squeak. I read this idea and was practically drooling. The soft white roll...the tasty fatty goodness...the sauce....the bacon.

The bacon here is a pale imitation of the kind you get in the UK, not even worth bothering with. I love bacon. It might even be worth moving back to the UK for bacon. Right now I can taste just how a bacon roll would taste. And it's *so* good. I really want one and I can't have one. It's. not. fair.

Much foot stamping ensues.
-- Taika, Aug 28 2003


Fishbone for having a bacon cooker that self cleans like a toilet.
-- k_sra, Aug 28 2003


//If machine is not used for 30 minutes, it cleans itself like an automatic toilet.//

<I'm an Amurkin, dammit!>Why? That old grease ain't dirt, it's flavor... </IaaD!>

I wish I had one of these.
-- shapu, May 30 2005


Deep fried mars bar machine - those things are absolutely horrific, I tried one during the first week I was here in Scotland, and I just fely my arteries clogging up... I haven't a clue as to how anyone can like them.
-- froglet, May 31 2005


The mention of US Bacon's shortcomings (above; and with which I have to agree) does puzzle me. Chocolate and bacon are two things which are (objectively, I think) hugely tastier in the UK than in the US. So why do the US versions persist? You'd think some enterprising soul would either import the foreign equivalents or manufacture them in the US, and would take over the market.
Sorry, this sounds like an american-bashing anno but it isn't - I'm genuinely puzzled by things like this.
-- Basepair, May 31 2005


Mmmmm... bacon roll... machine... mmmmm. I want one.
-- vincevincevince, Oct 06 2007


Whats wrong with American bacon?
-- Spacecoyote, Oct 07 2007


American bacon is much thinner and crispier than the bacon in other lands. American bacon is a flavoring agent, UK bacon is meat.
-- baconbrain, Oct 07 2007


//So why do the US versions persist?//

Cuz there is a lot more o' us then there be uv you, my good chap.

Just kidding, we do have other types of bacon here you know, we call the most common secondary type Canadian bacon, and not all bacon is thin slices either.
-- jhomrighaus, Oct 07 2007



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