The shape of bacon is somewhat constrained by the shape of the cut of meat which you get from the pig. The solution to this problem is to cure the whole pig and then put it in a lathe and cut a thin veneer of bacon from it in the same way that wood veneers are cut from rotating logs. This way, massive sheets of bacon are available, opening up new horizons in laminate food technology.
-- hippo, Jan 15 2010

Shawarma http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shawarma
Lathe could be adapted. [csea, Jan 22 2010]

Rotisserie http://en.wikipedia...Spit_(cooking_aide)
Another vertical meat slicer [csea, Jan 22 2010]

The first step would be applying technique to the raw material http://bonsaikitten.com/bkintro.php
[normzone, Jun 09 2015]

Could this be called a Pig-kab?
-- xenzag, Jan 15 2010


I think this would have been better as an annotation on some other idea......[+]
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 15 2010


Great! That's the marketing jingle sorted out.
-- hippo, Jan 15 2010


I love the idea - I would however, like to raise a technical query addressing streaky bacon.

The "streaks" in a pig run around the same axis about which we are rotating our Schweinefleisch - it is the lateral cut through those alternating layers of meat and fat that provides the familiar bacon pattern. Using the proposed method, these streaks would be transposed into great long alternating sheets of fat and lean meats, fine for a giant, but streaky bacon it aint.
-- zen_tom, Jan 15 2010


//thin pig, thin pig.// sp. new pork, new pork.
-- shudderprose, Jan 15 2010


will this bacon have legs??
-- xandram, Jan 15 2010


what about bones? and guts. I love bacon but don't prefer to have slices of pig bladder and clavicals in my breakfast.
-- metarinka, Jan 21 2010


See [links] for possibly adaptable technology.
-- csea, Jan 22 2010


This would work better if the pig could be reconfigured by selective breeding. Domestic pigs already have extra vertebrae compared to their wild ancestors. What we need to do next is breed them to have shorter (preferably no) legs, and a central spine rather than one located on the top.

With any luck, the trachea would realign itself to run more-or-less axially down the new cylindrical pig. This would simplify the mounting of the pig on the bacon lathe.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2015


Would it be easier to modify a breed of pigs to have no legs and be more cylindrical, or to modify a breed of snakes to be fatter and taste of pork?
-- hippo, Jun 09 2015


The problem is that most animals (including snakes) taste like chicken.

I think it ought to be possible to develop an aquatic pig, which would be likelier to evolve a legless, quasi-cylindrical form. An eel-pig is a distinct if distant possibility.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 09 2015


Well, if imminent catastrophic global warming and dramatically higher sea levels worldwide provide the evolutionary pressure to create this aquatic pig, then at least that's one positive outcome. Glass half full...
-- hippo, Jun 09 2015


The problem with this is that you would be planing off sheets of either just meat or just fat. The magic of bacon is that it's a cross-section of the pork belly.
-- Kumawktopus, Jun 09 2015



random, halfbakery