Small children are rather hard to deal with on trains. They tend to want to mill about, make lots of noise and generally annoy other passengers.
I propose a section of a carriage on every large train be dedicated to them, with an integrated ball-pool, changing area and a larger luggage capacity.
Where I am, at least, children under 5 don't need a ticket to travel - although they need to be accompanied by a paying adult. Therefore to make this commercially viable, there must be an additional charge for travel on this section of the train.I propose replacing part of the 'First Class' carriage, as I've never seen one used to anywhere near capacity.-- Loris, Sep 02 2011 Portable Child Hypoxicator Portable_20child_20hypoxicatorWhy not integrate it with one of these? [Wrongfellow, Sep 03 2011] Family Carriages on Swiss trains http://www.swissinf...s.html?cid=24850942Baked in Switzerland [prufrax, Sep 07 2011] [+] Cattle trucks.-- 8th of 7, Sep 02 2011 roof rack.-- FlyingToaster, Sep 02 2011 //I propose replacing part of the 'First Class' carriage, as I've never seen one used to anywhere near capacity.//
Ahem. Kindly remove your children and give me back my first-class carriage. The whole point of making it extortionately overpriced is to ensure that it is never full to capacity, thereby ensuring that one doesn't have to share a seat.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 02 2011 Hey 21 you just won a free upgrade to first class.-- FlyingToaster, Sep 02 2011 Kids are like farts. You admire your own, hate other people's.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 02 2011 The ball-pool and toy carriage would be filled with half-drunken halfbakers. At least that's where I'd ride. I prefer the company of children. That's why I hang out here I think...-- RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2011 This train needs a minature kiddie train that the rugrats can ride on while they play with their complimetary toy trains...-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 02 2011 Bring back the smoking car. Go have a drink at the bar car. Make a special car for grumpy people. Make one with no windows for people who want to sleep...-- xandram, Sep 02 2011 cocoon-car.-- FlyingToaster, Sep 02 2011 Not just trains and planes, but everywhere on earth should have a special section for babies. In fact, there should be a whole country of just babies where you send your baby to when it's born and after it's old enough to behave in public, you go there and pick it up.-- phundug, Sep 02 2011 Points to 21Q and 2Fries. But MaxB, I am now going to wonder about you when I see you sitting by yourself smiling.-- swimswim, Sep 02 2011 // go there and pick it up //
Please explain why you deem that step necessary.-- 8th of 7, Sep 02 2011 Must be lonely being a borg.-- RayfordSteele, Sep 02 2011 You're not a parent, are you 21? Or perhaps you are - but you split.
Children start off without manners, and it takes several years to civilise them.
//Seriously, if you are that bothered by noise generated by the people around you, and you are a frequent train- rider, perhaps it is *you* who should invest in some quality earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones and a sleeper's mask so you don't have to *see* how annoying the rest of the world is.//
I am the parent. I'd be paying the premium partly to reduce annoyance to other passengers. It's politeness.
//Ahem. Kindly remove your children and give me back my first-class carriage. The whole point of making it extortionately overpriced is to ensure that it is never full to capacity, thereby ensuring that one doesn't have to share a seat. //
I'm thinking that buying a first-class ticket and sitting with my mewling infants next to you is plan B.-- Loris, Sep 03 2011 // Must be lonely being a borg. //
Strangely, no. Never.
Sp: "Borg".-- 8th of 7, Sep 03 2011 Mewling *and puking* if you please.
Children are annoying. That's why we love them.-- mouseposture, Sep 03 2011 //buying a first-class ticket and sitting with my mewling infants next to you is plan B.//
Aha! Double-bluff. I'll be in cattle-class with mine. Win win.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 03 2011 //Mewling *and puking* if you please.//
As you wish. Other optional extras include but are not limited to unidentified stickiness, mucus and faeces.
On a recent train journey, my one year old son produced copious vomit just as we were forming up our various luggage and child-associated infrastructure to get off at our first connection.Not an easy trip.-- Loris, Sep 03 2011 Ha! My wife got out of a speeding ticket that way once. As soon as the cop looked in the window and the smell hit him he told her to, just try and make it home in one piece, and sent her on her way.-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 03 2011 I'd take this one stage further, and extend the idea to restaurants, like in the bad old days of smoking/no-smoking. [+]-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 03 2011 //Why don't we all just accept the fact that children are a part of our society//
For better or for worse, malaria and MRSA are parts of our society, too.-- Wrongfellow, Sep 03 2011 [-], and what 21 Quest said.-- AntiQuark, Sep 03 2011 section everyone!
this makes me laugh - please join in and sing your favourite...-- po, Sep 03 2011 // Why don't we all just accept the fact that children are a part of our society //
Because that way lies misery. despair, substance abuse and eventual suicide.
// Parents shouldn't have to exile themselves from public places because they know their child is likely to find something to cry about. //
Yes they bloody well should !
No-one asked them to produce their purple-faced dribble-soaked squalling brats. Dogs aren't allowed in numerous locations, but the great majority of dogs are cleaner, quieter, better behaved and much less liable to spread disease than the grizzling snot-smeared little germ factories that misguided parents continue to convey into food retail and service areas, scattering their contaminated exhalations and seemingly unlimited quantities of toxic and noxious bodily effluvia far and wide.
// the sound of a page turning in a paper book. //
Or someone with an excessively noisy heartbeat ...
// How about we take all the stuffy, self-important people who can't be bothered to tolerate society and put them in a padded, noise-proof room? Not first class, oh no. Just a padded room. //
Fine, AS LONG AS IT'S QUIET.
// Children are annoying. That's why we love them //
Children are annoying. That's why we hate them.
//extend the idea to restaurants //
What an excellent scheme. We look forward to the opening of a new dining establishment, complete with three Michelin stars, and the engaging title of "The Modest Proposal".
Inspection of the design of railway rolling stock reveals that it may well be possible to provide hatchways in the floor giving access to small, dark, poorly-ventilated and well-soundproofed coffin-like storage units, in which children may be placed for the duration of the journey. We suggest that these storage units be accessed via coin operated locks. For a small extra payment, the ventilation would be shut off altogether; for an additional sum, the floor of the unit opens automatically once the train reaches 100km/h.
The service would be called "Affordable Child Care".-- 8th of 7, Sep 03 2011 //I propose replacing part of the 'First Class' carriage, as I've never seen one used to anywhere near capacity.//
Yepski - never mind Lord Maxwell. Problem is, a ball-pool and monkey bars section would be invaded by people like me!-- wagster, Sep 03 2011 Anyone who's ever ridden the T will understand the appeal of a bounce-house car.-- Alterother, Sep 03 2011 The "childfree by choice" crowd should just accept that irritating kids are the price to pay today, for the benefit of having someone to take care of you in the future.-- AntiQuark, Sep 03 2011 Take care of who, now? Somehow I don't envision any of those little brats taking care of anyone but themselves when they're my age. I say this because I'm not taking of anyone but myself (and family) right now, and it's only going to get harder in the future. So by all means, let's sequester the little future-ingrates and get some damned peace and quiet on the train. Unless there's a wheel with a flat spot, or a bad bearing, or the brake shoes need replacing, or...-- Alterother, Sep 04 2011 I was thinking of doctors, nurses, nursing home employees, (and support staff, etc), who take care of the elderly.-- AntiQuark, Sep 04 2011 //// Children are annoying. That's why we love them //
Children are annoying. That's why we hate them.//
Here's a hint: think about it in Ev-Psych terms. Children are annoying. That's why we love them.-- mouseposture, Sep 04 2011 // I wonder if there is a russian-doll world-record for concentric (what is the 3d equivalent? -nested) trains? //
When I worked for the railroad, we generally discouraged nesting activity. For one thing, the eggs are enormous, and you're always missing a loco or two because they take turns incubating the clutch, and then you show up at the yard one morning and discover seven shorty tankers and a switch engine on track 5 that weren't there the day before.-- Alterother, Sep 04 2011 They're cute when they're little, but clearing up the droppings is a nightmare…-- 8th of 7, Sep 04 2011 Well, I, at least, think this is a great idea. Irregardlessly of motivation, it would make my train journey much more pleasanter if my children travelled in such a section of the train.-- methinksnot, Sep 04 2011 Also: A Riffraff Section in Trains and Planes.
For teenage groups that wish to harass passengers, write graffiti, and listen to songs in high volume loudspeakers, and for adults who want to yell into their cellphones.-- pashute, Oct 02 2014 What an excellent idea. Why not call it "Taser Class" ?-- 8th of 7, Oct 02 2014 // like in the bad old days of smoking/no-smoking. [+]
What old days? Smoking cabin on the shinkansen (well, once you get out of Kanto anyway), restaurants with smoking areas...
//adults who want to yell into their cellphones.
Noticed on the London trains, between 6pm and 10pm, you might just as well put a loop tape on the PA going "Hello...hello....yeah, I'm on a train....do you want me to get some bread?"-- not_morrison_rm, Oct 02 2014 random, halfbakery