Allow celebrities who are nominated for awards to compose an up-to thirty-second text-based slide show to be overlaid on the screen during their acceptance speech (if the allowed speech length is 45 seconds and the slide show uses 30, the winner would have 15 seconds to speak before the slide show started). Within certain fairly generous limits, nominees would be able to use whatever text size and display rate they wanted to display their message (the more they wanted to say, the smaller or faster it would have to be).
Thus, performers who were so inclined could thank all of the major people in their life down to their second-grade teacher and still fit within the time constraints. The people so-thanked might have to use the slo-mo controls on their VCR/TiVo to find themselves, but they'd be in there. Of course, someone who wanted to only thank half a dozen people could show their names in big letters for four seconds each if they preferred.
Anyone like that as a notion?-- supercat, Mar 03 2003 I've often thought award show acceptance speeches would be greatly improved if there was a rule in place prohibiting the thanking of anyone in particular. The winner can say a generic "thank you" not directed to anyone, and use the rest of their 20 seconds to say something profound.-- waugsqueke, Mar 03 2003 I'd like to thank supercat for this great idea. Of course, anyone who wastes their time watching such awards shows deserves what they get.-- Worldgineer, Mar 03 2003 How profound is someone like Gwyneth Paltrow going to get in twenty seconds? Oh, I get it.-- snarfyguy, Mar 03 2003 Can they still cry?-- angel, Mar 04 2003 // use the rest of their 20 seconds to say something profound. //
Excuse me, I seem to be wading up to my knees in irony here. Anyone got a bucket ?-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2003 A galvanized irony bucket? Get your own, waugs already filled mine.
Good idea. Anyone need a scriptwriter? Maybe combine it with an autocue telling them when to wind up and leave.-- egbert, Mar 04 2003 Or just a trapdoor ?-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2003 It's not going to be easy tipping my hat to the 'bakery without causing an avalanche of newbies when I accept my award(s)-- thumbwax, Mar 04 2003 random, halfbakery