This river boat would pull itself along an anchored chain or rope, somewhat like a funicular (without the rails). The 'hill' is the flowing current, which we propose to travel contrary to.
Rather than relying on pre-installed anchors, it has two (or more) anchors and a long bowsprit that carries an anchor forward of the vessel, and drops it in the stream. A current-powered winch tows the boat upstream until it reaches the anchor, at which point the second anchor is carried forward, the first anchor lifted, and the process is repeated.
In another version, a catapult is mounted on the foredeck, and launches the anchor forward through the air, at great speed.-- afinehowdoyoudo, Aug 10 2012 [+], for the catapult version.-- goldbb, Aug 12 2012 I'm sure the 16 inch guns on decommissioned battleships can be had for a song down at the Army-Navy Surplus Store. Thus, launching the anchor at a slightly higher velocity would enable the riverboat to cruise for miles without repeating the procedure. [+] Bun for the flight of GROG fancy.-- Grogster, Aug 12 2012 I was imagining a boat with arms that twists in the current alternately linking each arm to a pathway chain. Sort of swinging upstream. Probably slow and nauseating.-- wjt, Aug 13 2012 sorry we didn't meet earlier. wow this is great!-- pashute, Sep 17 2014 This would seem to be a variation on kedging,which is baked.-- cudgel, Sep 17 2014 And chain ferries, which are also Baked.
// I'm sure the 16 inch guns on decommissioned battleships can be had for a song down at the Army-Navy Surplus Store. //
Sadly, no. They are ridiculously expensive.-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2014 Not even alibaba sells naval guns, sadly.-- DrBob, Sep 17 2014 //Sadly, no. They are ridiculously expensive.//
I have no idea why. Holes are cheap, the only difference between a shot gun and a 16" naval gun is the bigger hole, stands to reason it should be cheaper. I blame the cartel like behavior of naval gun manufacturers.-- bs0u0155, Sep 17 2014 //only difference between a shot gun and a 16" naval gun is the bigger hole, stands to reason it should be cheaper. //
But therein lies the problem. After each firing, guns have to be cleaned. A basic set of cleaning rods and brushes for a 12 bore costs about USD$20. A basic set of cleaning rods and brushes for a BL 16 inch Mk I naval gun costs about USD$20,000,000. And there are no second-sources, you have to buy the genuine parts from the manufacturer.
// I blame the cartel like behavior of naval gun manufacturers. //
Yes, bunch of swindlers, they are. Just always out to rip off the little guy.-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2014 After each firing? So Naval warfare is about which crew can clean the barrels fastest between volleys?
Wait, 16" is pretty generous, send up one of those Victorian chimneysweeps... tell them they're much less likely to get scrotal cancer in a Naval gun.-- bs0u0155, Sep 17 2014 After each firing, but not after each shot. That's for a breechloader; a muzzle loader does indeed have to be swabbed with a wet mop between shots. Ramming a fresh charge of black powder into a barrel still containing smouldering residue is not recommended.
The idea of using small children is quite excellent.-- 8th of 7, Sep 17 2014 random, halfbakery