To err is human and, let's face it, we're all human. We've all misspoken or missdone, and at the bottom of our hearts we know that apologies are in order.

When this is the case, apologizing is easy. But what about when the boss or some snooty co-worker starts demanding an apology in a twisted, passive-aggressive sort of way that is intended not merely to humiliate you, but also to firmly establish just how low your rung on the totem pole really is? If you provide the apology, you suffer in more ways than one, but so long as the apology goes unsaid there is deadlock and ill will between all. What to do?

Time to call Apology, Inc.

For a nominal fee, a representative will pay a personal visit to your home or workplace and apologize profusely for anything and everything that you have or have not said or done. Our apologists are well versed in thousands of inane platitudes which convey sympathy and healing - all the while being devoid of any tangible content recognizable in a court of law.

Isn't it time you mended that breach, repaired that bridge, smoked that peace pipe? Give us a call.
-- Mungo, Mar 11 2004

Dreadfully Sorry, Guys. http://www.ferrum.e...dreadfullysorry.htm
A Holocaust Drama, March 15 [dpsyplc, Oct 04 2004]

What are you doing with that fishbone? No, no, no, look, I'm really sorry, I didn't mean it.
-- unclepete, Mar 12 2004


Father Jack: (holds hands up to chin like paws, makes rodent nibblings with his teeth) I'm ssooooooo, ssoooooooo sooooorrrrrrryyyyy.

Father Ted: Now *that's* sarcasm.

That would be nice. Could be one for use in conjunction with [UB]'s I QUIT thingy. Then again, If I was going to quit like that I'd really *want* to do it myself.
-- squeak, Mar 12 2004


There's something about an impersonal apology that makes it not an apology at all.
-- yabba do yabba dabba, Mar 12 2004


I could occasionally use a printable, online-based version of the honeydripping, semiserious, robotic apology that would satisfy the flaming borderline personality described by [Mungo], any takers?
-- dpsyplc, Mar 12 2004


Baked in florists and muffin delivery services, and really if you're providing an impersonal apology the least you can do is send along decorative items or baked goods.
-- kropotkin, Mar 12 2004



random, halfbakery