1- Train apes to wear hats. The big furry kind that don't fly airplanes.

2- Have hats of various heights.

3- See if the height of the hats affects the social strata, specifically the ranking of the various apes in the hierarchy.

4- For instance, take the dominant ape, put a short hat on him, and take a lower ranking ape and put the tallest hat on him.

5- See if the biggest hatted ape now gets all the chicks.

I'll repeat my thesis again, civilization is built on the two pillars of agriculture and social strata delineation determined by assholes who want to run things putting on big hats.
-- doctorremulac3, May 11 2023

Skip to 4:50 https://www.youtube...watch?v=_X57lHbQP6k
[doctorremulac3, May 12 2023]

Jane Goodall institute https://janegoodall.org
[doctorremulac3, May 12 2023]

magnificent hat https://static.wiki...t?cb=20090528233234
[Loris, May 12 2023]

Birds that "wear" hats. https://www.mentalf...y-feathered-noggins
Why? Because hats serve a purpose in the wild. If they're important enough to evolve, they're certainly important enough to fake. [doctorremulac3, May 12 2023]

Humans are a kind of ape
-- pocmloc, May 11 2023


Corrected.
-- doctorremulac3, May 11 2023


//But while I can see an evolutionary advantage in bug muscles, the cheek pouch thing does seem like a bit of big hat silliness.//

[marked-for-tagline]
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, May 12 2023


Think I'm gonna contact some places that have chimps to see if they're interested in trying this.

Start by just throwing a bunch of different sized hats in their habitat, pretty sure they'd figure it out. If necessary, put one on and walk around for a minute, that's all the training that would be necessary if that even.

Chimps & gorillas already wear hats. (link)
-- doctorremulac3, May 12 2023


I'm off to the gym to work on my cheeks.
-- pertinax, May 12 2023


Actually I'm going to try to contact Jane Goodall. I'll write up a proposal and see if her institute can get it to her.

I don't think I'll mess around with any designs at first, just one variable, height. Obviously if you have a foot tall picture of a snarling tiger face (although that might come later) it's going to instill some kind of reaction from the peasants, but have to do this one variable at a time.
-- doctorremulac3, May 12 2023


A tiger face hat can only improve your chances of getting the job.
-- daseva, May 12 2023


One theory on the hat thing, besides the obvious built in instinct to see a taller animal as dominant, there is natural headgear in nature, they're called horns. If you see something sticking out of an animals head, and you're not sure what it is, good chance you might want to assume it's dangerous.

There are also lots of instances where birds use decorative plumage to create a more imposing image. Where I go running in the hills by my house I come across wild turkeys that do their fan dance with their tail feathers to try to intimate me. Visual communication among animals is very real.

Again, I wouldn't be surprised if the first king was somebody that put a lion skull on his head.
-- doctorremulac3, May 12 2023


Well back in the day there was less youtube, so it was important to be seen and recognized at a distance, especially if you were standing on top of a tall pyramid.

"Think I'm gonna contact some places that have chimps to see if they're interested in trying this"

One of the G-n or BRICS conferences might work for this. But since there is so much close up broadcasted coverage they probably don't need to wear hats anymore; only people stuck in some kind of ancient time loop, need to have special hat wearing days.

To prove this, give all the chimps hats and then a giant wall of screens focusing on each one of their faces; they'll probably stop putting on hats and just look at the screens.. at least until a lovely lady in 'pink' walks by. Because the only thing better then a bigger head is a bigger bum.
-- mylodon, May 20 2023


Bum hats
-- pocmloc, May 21 2023


Been away for a week, then read this again:

"Train apes to wear hats. The big furry kind that don't fly airplanes."

I get the big furry hats thing, but all hats don't fly airplanes. Could cause confusion but I'm gonna go with it.
-- doctorremulac3, May 22 2023


Wookie? Trying hard...
-- minoradjustments, Jun 17 2023


I'm seeing an empty shapka ushanka propped up on the head-rest of the pilot's seat.
-- pertinax, Jun 17 2023



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