This simple straw sombrero, decorated with a fetching ribbon, is located in Ireland. As long as you are underneath it, you will be almost completely protected from bear attacks.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 23 2019

Werner Herzog’s film Grizzly Man https://www.youtube...watch?v=gWycuaWJFCM
It’s a truly thought-provoking film. And disturbing. A guy who’s passionate about protecting grizzlies and their environment, ultimately gets eaten. [Frankx, Sep 23 2019]

Hmmm ... we sense the subtle mendacity of the Intercalary behind this idea.

Would you be good enough to post the full list of terms, conditions and especially exclusions for us to peruse before purchasing ?

Presumably there is a "Money back if wholly or partiallly eaten" guarantee ?
-- 8th of 7, Sep 23 2019


//before purchasing// No, it's not available to purchase - it's a fixed installation. If it were mobile, it might end up in Alaska or somewhere, and obviously that would compromise its function. As a bonus, its protection extends for a radius of at least 5 miles from the sombrero itself (excluding zoos; also, warranty is void if you bring your own bear).

//Money back if wholly or partiallly eaten// Fair enough, but the straw is quite chewy and I think the ribbon is nylon, so I wouldn't try it myself.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 23 2019


//bring your own bear// My friend is planning to bring his “Ill-conceived wild bear circus” to Ireland shortly, it’s sure to be a real hit. He understands that, so long as the customers are equipped with your hats (and haven’t brought their bears) they will be perfectly safe. Hence he is planning no other safety measures. Apart from ensuring that none of them have brought their own bears.

Can you confirm that your public liability insurance covers this arrangement?

No bears will be harmed in the provision of this service.
-- Frankx, Sep 23 2019


//public liability insurance// The public is liable in all circumstances. Technically, a wild bear circus counts as a zoo, for the period of time in which it is present. (The same applies to zoos, of course.)
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 23 2019


Ohh, but the customers are *sure to come in disguise*. Picnic, not Zoo.

On the subject of teddy bears - Werner Herzog film [link].
-- Frankx, Sep 23 2019



random, halfbakery