Having spotted a market opportunity based on exploiting the anxieties of an group of credulous, easily-panicked and underinformed morons (i.e most of the population) BorgCo are rushing a new product into volume production without proper safety testing, or indeed any real testing at all (other than saying "Bugger it, seems to work, it'll do"*)
It's our "Anti-Coronavirus Coronet". Resembling a Royal crown (but actually made from genuine gold-ish coloured simulated plastic-effect type material) the tips of the sticky-up bits contain tiny yet effective** atomizer nozzles fed via a thin, flexible pipe from a very quiet yet powerful battery-driven pump attached to the discreet*** 12 litre backpack tank.
Thus the wearer is constantly surrounded by an almost invisible**** cloud of high-potency biocide, ensuring an acceptable***** degree of protection from all sorts of infectious pathogens.
*Standard Operating Procedure for all consumer products.
** ish
*** "Quasimodo" costume available for a small extra charge; discounted if purchased along with the equipment.
**** Total invisibility may actually mean that the thing isn't working - the tank empty, the battery flat, or the nozzles blocked. A sophisticated biometric system indicates that a failure has occurred (the user becomes ill, and possibly dies). Please refer to the terms and conditions of sale, particularly the disclaimers. Especially the disclaimers ...
***** to the vendor.-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020 Piranha Solution https://en.wikipedi...ki/Piranha_solution [bs0u0155, Mar 05 2020] A better solution, shirley, would be for everyone to wear rubber-soled shoes and extremely powerful electrostatic generators. As long as we all agree on a polarity, any droplets produced by sneezing would simply avoid other people.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2020 That would be incredibly dangerous and ill advised. Fires would be started; pacemaker wearers would drop dead; volatile organics would be triggered into fuel-air explosions; cats would be irremovably attached to balloons ....
What an excellent idea.
<Goes to rummage in cupboard for Van de Graaf machine/>-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020 // Thus the wearer is constantly surrounded by an almost invisible**** cloud of high-potency biocide, ensuring an acceptable***** degree of protection from all sorts of infectious pathogens. //
Wow. That I CAN imagine.
I just think, maybe we could do as well with a tube directly from backpack to face-mask, and UV light inside the tube or backpack. I remember, in childhood they used disinfect our lungs with ionized air like that.
However, if the battery is out, we're out luck indeed. OR. We could have a radioisotope to do the job of ionizing it?-- Mindey, Mar 04 2020 // in childhood they used disinfect our lungs with ionized air like that //
Were there (m)any survivors ... ?-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020 I stand the witness. Well, in my memory, there were apparatuses, with multiple 1 inch diameter tubes sticking out, with blue light, and multiple kids would go through that. What a weird thing, and it must have been somewhere just before the Soviet Union collapse, in Lithuania.-- Mindey, Mar 04 2020 // in my memory //
Hmmmm ....
Were the "people" doing the "treatment" in sliver suits ? Did they have huge, black, pupil-less eyes and very long fingers ? Was there a huge silver disk in the sky, and a very bright light at any point ?
There are quite a few people in the USA who claim to have had very similar experiences, and they can't even spell "Litheenya", let alone claim to have been there ...-- 8th of 7, Mar 04 2020 Instead of a continuous spray of (highly flammable) pure alcohol droplets, consider a continuous spray of beer with a bit of lime juice.-- sninctown, Mar 05 2020 <Considers a continuous spray of beer with a bit of lime juice./>
We think not; it will rapidly become unpleasanty sticky and malodorous, and the user will be misidentified as french.
We weren't considering pure alcohol either - something with chlorine or bromine, maybe some phenol derivatives, really aggressive, toxic, persistent stuff. Paradichlorobenzene is good...-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020 // stick to homeopathic compounds //
We did explain about the stickiness thing ... not good.
// believes anything less than overkill means you really weren't trying //
"believes" ? <Hard stare/>
We *know* that it's the only way.
// actually killing your customer base is bad for repeat business. //
It worked well for Yokosuka, for a while ...
// Much better to fill the tanks with distilled water, claiming effectiveness because it was expensively processed with* some therapeutic compounds. //
That part we like, altho the "distilled" part might affect the bottom line; the idea is to make ludicrously enormous exploitative profits for the absolute minimum of outlay and effort. Plain water from the nearest watercourse is perfectly adequate; choose a point downstream of an industrial effluent outfall and you might get some actual chemicals included for free.-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020 We have a special offer on Assimilation this month, are you interested ? We wish to add your biological and technological distinctiveness to our own. Also, the existing Marketing module self-destructed recently and needs to be replaced....-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020 Alcohol, I've read somewhere, is capable of attacking the virus.-- Voice, Mar 05 2020 "gold-ish", I greatly prefer "gold-like". Thank you for asking.-- blissmiss, Mar 05 2020 Can I recommend HTP for the biocidal liquid? Shirley it would be simpler to just re-purpose some rocket packs that are bound to by lying about somewhere? I say this because even 5% H2O2 is a pretty solid disinfection agent, at least according to the CDC summary I just read. Some people have even gone as far as engaging their brain and included a touch of phosphoric acid, which dramatically enhances the reactivity of H2O2.
They could have done far better of course. 30% H2O2 and conc. H2SO4, or "Piranha solution" <link> is just great at absolutely definitely making sure no biological material remains.
//I remember, in childhood they used disinfect our lungs with ionized air like that.//
Blimey. Relatively harmless I'd imagine, the line gets crossed when increased Voltage means Ozone rather than regular old -ve ions of O2/N2.-- bs0u0155, Mar 05 2020 Maintaining a net positive air pressure in your immediate radius could do the trick. I see a wearable motorized air pump with a filter input.-- RayfordSteele, Mar 05 2020 For a comparatively small increase in price, we'll sell you a version made with unreactive/inert components that will allow you to use a range of biocidal agents of your choosing, although if you try ClF3 don't come running back to complain. Actually, that's not really much of a risk.
// I greatly prefer "gold-like". //
No problem. There will be a relatively small additional charge for the upgrade.-- 8th of 7, Mar 05 2020 //Piranha solution// Needs more hydrofluoric acid.-- Voice, Mar 06 2020 random, halfbakery