As we age, it becomes harder and harder to contain one's self, and to maintain one's constitution, particularly in the presence of a hearty meal. Well, worry no more, because for those of you who wish your sphincter could retain those gastric discards, we have the Anal Retainer!

Yes, just plug this into your rectum, and it'll electrically stimulate your sphincter to close right shut, making leakage impossible. The device fits one rechargeable battery, and a new prototype is being worked on that actually derives it's power from intenstinal juices, giving you peace of mind, not only because you know you won't have an accident, but because you know your Anal Retainer is environmentally friendly!
-- BierGuzzl, May 01 2001

ewwwwwww...... this idea makes me feel sick, sick as an ACTUAL dog.
-- JoeCornish, May 01 2001


so...ah...this idea has nothing to do with those of us who are a bit compulsive about hanging our clothes according to ROY G BIV and making sure our books and magazines are meticulously stored in order on shelves assigned just to them?
-- Susen, May 02 2001


Much cleaner and less visible than traditional adult diapers as well, I'm sure. Unfortunately, I think electrical stimulation would make the bowels less controlled, rather than more.
-- nick_n_uit, May 02 2001


Hoo boy, try air travel wearing that thingy.
-- kelvin, Jun 10 2002



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